Review: The Expanse, “Back to the Butcher” + 500 Words of Rambling

Here’s why this is a difficult show to review: This entire episode could have been condensed down into ten minutes, and nothing significant would have been lost. And I’m being generous with that ten minute estimate.

Official logo for sci-fi TV series The ExpanseHolden and company receive an offer of help from an OPA terrorist, and despite the characters immediately acknowledging that they have no other options, half the episode is spent on their debating whether to take it.

The most noteworthy part of the episode comes from a series of flashbacks depicting the backstory of said terrorist, which manage to be both very brief and longer than they need to be. But at least they’ve got a good emotional punch.

Meanwhile, Miller painstakingly teases out a few other minor clues about Julie Mao — something that could have been done in a single scene. Which makes this most eventful episode for Miller to date by a wide margin.

And that’s it. How do I review this? What do I analyze? It takes serious talent to fill an hour with this much nothing.

I think it’s time I just give up on this show. We’re five episodes in, and it’s still going nowhere slowly. Even Stargate: Universe — the poster child for shows that sucked at first but then became awesome — was showing significant improvement by now. Maybe The Expanse will attain greatness sometime down the line, but at this point we’ve hit “life is too short to waste on this” territory.

The cast of The ExpanseOverall rating: 4/10 Like watching paint dry in slow motion.

Even though this blog is free, I feel like I’m ripping you off with just a two hundred word review, so now I’m just going to ramble incoherently for five hundred words or so.

Well, my father is always saying I should talk about music on the blog, so I guess I’ll talk about my awful, awful taste in music for a bit.

For the last several months, most of my musical attention/obsession has been focused on the most recent offerings from two of my favourite bands, Metric and Chvrches. Last September, within a week of each other, Metric put out their sixth album, Pagans in Vegas, and Chvrches released their second album, Every Open Eye.

I was a bit disappointed with Metric’s last album, Synthetica, but Pagans in Vegas has once again completely blown me away. After playing it safe with Synthetica, they’re trying new things again, and while some songs are clearly failed experiments (Cascades comes to mind), many are excellent.

Something else interesting about Pagans is that a lot of the songs feel like throwbacks to the many different sounds Metric has had over the years. Celebrate and Lie Lie Lie remind me of Old World Underground, whereas For Kicks sounds like the best of the Fantasies era.

But by far my favourite song on the album is The Governess, which is a clear throwback to their first album, Grow Up and Blow Away, in all its quirky and morose glory. That was and still is my favourite album, and I had long since despaired of them ever revisiting that style of music, so The Governess just fills me with happiness.

Probably doesn’t hurt that it always puts me in mind of a character from my current writing project, either.

Meanwhile, Every Open Eye turned out to not be quite as good as Chvrches’ first album, The Bones of What You Believe, but there are still more than a few strong tracks on it. In particular, the standout by far is Down Side of Me, an achingly beautiful and haunting song that is possibly my new favourite Chvrches song (which says a lot) and definitely Lauren Mayberry’s best vocal performance to date (which is also saying a lot).

I saw them live back in October, and let me tell you: Lauren is the real deal. Absolutely amazing performer, as well as an all around charming and lovely person.

…I sincerely apologize for subjecting you to all that.

Oh, and if you’re looking for a good mystery novel, I’d highly recommend The Cuckoo’s Calling by “Robert Galbraith” (who is of course really J.K. Rowling).

Actually, in theory, it’s not that good of a book. The twist at the end strains credibility, it relies on a lot of cheap tricks to maintain the mystery, and there isn’t a lot of drama or suspense. But the characters are colourful and fiercely likable, and the writing is just so excellent that it’s just a delight to read even despite its flaws.

Heroes of the Storm: My Builds – Johanna and Sylvanas

I now continue my build guides for Heroes of the Storm. Today, I’ll be looking at my top-played warrior and specialist: Johanna and Sylvanas Windrunner.

A punisher moves on the enemy base in Heroes of the StormCoincidentally, Sylvanas is also one of the characters you can permanently unlock using my referral link. Learn the details here.

And don’t forget to check out my previous guides for Jaina and Tassadar.

UPDATE: The Sylvanas build has been updated to reflect the changes in the Dehaka patch on March 29, 2016.

Johanna: Shield of the Faithful

General thoughts: Johanna is the archetypal tank. She has very weak damage and mobility, but she’s extremely hardy and offers very strong crowd control. As Johanna, your most likely cause of death is going to be the inevitable overconfidence that comes from being almost — but not entirely — invincible.

Zoning into a Heroes of the Storm match as JohannaAs Johanna, your job is to get into the thick of battle and stay there. Constantly fowl the enemy team with your crowd control abilities. Force them to turn their attention to you — and away from your more vulnerable team mates.

Punish can more or less be your bread and butter damage ability. Condemn is useful for grouping up enemies for your team mates’ AoEs or interrupting powerful channeled abilities, like Valla’s strafe or Li-Li’s jug of a thousand cups. Shield glare is always handy but shines the most against auto-attack heroes like Valla or Illidan, and in rare cases, its long range and ability to ignore walls can allow you to land kills that would otherwise be out of reach. Iron skin’s shield is handy, but its crowd control immunity is arguably even better.

This build focuses on Johanna’s existing strengths, making her the perfect tank.

1: Reinforce: Using basic abilities grants a stack of block, reducing enemy auto-attack damage.

Pretty self-explanatory.

4: Laws of hope: Increases health regeneration. Can also be activated to provide a quick burst of healing.

Johanna has a pretty strong survival toolkit to start with, but the one she lacks is self-healing. This addresses that. The passive healing lets you recover from mild to moderate damage between fights, while the activated ability gives you burst healing to survive in the heat of battle.

Note that the passive regeneration continues even when the ability is on cooldown.

7: Battle momentum: Auto-attacks reduce ability cooldowns.

A versatile talent that allows you to apply crowd control more consistently, get more use out of reinforce, and boost your (admittedly meager) damage.

10: Falling sword: Leap into the air and crash down a few seconds later, damaging and knocking effected enemies upward.

Strong arguments can be made for both of Johanna’s ultimates, but I prefer falling sword. It deals more damage and can hit more targets, and in a pinch, you can use it as an escape tool.

13: Hold your ground: Increases the shield provided by iron skin and reduces its cooldown if it is destroyed.

Another talent that lets you hang in the thick of things longer, reinforcing your role as a frontline brawler.

16: Holy renewal: Shield glare heals you for each hero hit.

This plus laws of hope serves to address Johanna’s lack of self-healing. The healing for each hero hit is actually pretty substantive, so if you hit most or all of the enemy team, you’ll heal for a huge chunk of health. It’s at this point that you really start to get in the “she just won’t die” realm.

20: Indestructible: Upon reaching zero health, gain a shield equal to your maximum health for a few seconds. Two minute cooldown.

The name says it all, really.

If you’re being hit hard enough for this to activate, odds are you just want to retreat. You might also be able to get in some quick healing with shield glare.

Sylvanas: Screaming Fury

General thoughts: Sylvanas used to be an assassin disguised as a specialist, but as of the new patch, she plays more like a traditional specialist, though she maintains strong damage and team fight potential.

My team loading into a match in Heroes of the Storm

Sylvanas’ new talent tree doesn’t offer a lot of clear synergies or obvious builds, but it also allows her to be more versatile than she used to be, whereas before she was simply a glass cannon and nothing else.

With the new build, you’ll spend more time pushing and have a very strong lane presence in the early game, but don’t neglect team fights. You’re still one of the more dangerous specialists around, especially past level ten.

One thing that hasn’t change is that you’re still a very squishy hero with an unreliable escape, so you should still be very cautious, and it remains true that Sylvanas is not a great choice for soloing lanes or roaming the map solo, unlike most other specialists.

1: Paralysis: Increases the duration of black arrows by 75%.

The default duration of black arrows is a bit weak, but this gives you all the extra power you need to completely shut down enemy minion waves, and at level one, that can be a big advantage.

Later on, it also allows you solo mercenary camps more effectively, but despite Sylvanas’ role as a specialist, I’d still recommend getting the help of team mates where possible, especially for bruiser camps.

4: With the wind: Increases withering fire’s range.

Where possible, I like to pick talents that have both offensive and defensive applications. Something Sylvanas excels at is hunting down wounded enemies and finishing them off, and with the wind enhances your ability to do that.

Meanwhile, it also allows you to put out strong damage from a greater distance, thus putting yourself at less risk. This is crucial when you’re as squishy as Sylvanas.

As Sylvanas, your best defense is a good offense.

7: Possession: Permanently take control of any enemy minion. Catapults and mercenaries are immune. Three charges.

Once the game’s worst heroic, possession is actually pretty decent as a level seven talent. At that stage of the game, the enemy team is still going to have some difficulty countering, and between this and paralysis, your early game push power is going to be pretty scary.

Just make sure you’re using it any chance you get. Any time you’re passing a minion wave late game, remember to through out possession as you pass.

Random fun fact: If you possess enemy minions while your team is cursed on Cursed Hollow, the stolen minions will still have full health.

10: Mind control: After a short delay, take control of an enemy hero’s movement for a short time. During this time, you cannot take any other action, but neither can the target.

With possession moved down to level seven, Sylvanas now has two strong choices for ultimates. However, I favour mind control. It’s slightly easier to use, and vastly more fun.

Generally the idea is to find a squishy hero and “encourage” them to stroll into the waiting arms of your team. It’s obviously great for preventing a low health target from fleeing. You can also force enemies into range of your towers (just make sure there are no minions around to absorb shots) or other danger areas, or prevent someone from fleeing Artanis’ purifier beam. With very good timing, it can also serve as an interrupt for powerful abilities, like strafe.

Just be careful not to put yourself at undue risk, as you yourself are helpless during the channel. Maintain a safe distance.

13: Life drain: Shadow dagger heals you for a small amount when it spreads.

This tier is all survival options. I favour shadow dagger as a way to heal up between fights, which is not something Sylvanas can normally do without hearthing or visiting a healing fountain.

Spell shield is also a decent choice if the enemy team has strong ability damage heroes, like Li-Ming or Kael’thas.

16: Cold embrace: Shadow dagger increases damage taken by the first enemy hit.

Lots of good options on this tier. Evasive fire and remorseless are also strong choices, but cold embrace allows your team to really blow up an important single target, like a healer.

20: Bolt of the storm: A targeted teleport on a cooldown.

Sylvanas has a teleport by default, but between how awkward it is to use, her extremely low health, and a lack of strong competition on this talent tier, bolt of the storm becomes the obvious choice.