Tag Archives: fantasy

The Mustering of Azeroth: Ranking Every Artifact Quest

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My journey to complete every class story in World of Warcraft has finally ended. Along the way, I also completed all thirty-four of the game’s artifact quests, and now I bring you my thoughts on them all, ranked from worst to best.

Acquiring Strom'kar, the Warbreaker in World of Warcraft: LegionFists of the Windlord (windwalker monk):

Wastes far too much time on the insufferable Li Li Stormstout and features a generic no name villain whose plans and motivations are never explained in the slightest. A sloppy, underwhelming quest all around.

Light’s Wrath (discipline priest):

This is a mage quest.

No, really. It’s an almost exact copy of the Aluneth quest, and it doesn’t make sense for a priest artifact at all.

The Kingslayers (assassination rogue):

Deserves credit for being one of the more elaborate artifact quests and requiring you to make smart use of pretty much the entire rogue toolkit, but I found the stealth mechanics irritating, and the story only makes sense if your rogue isn’t Alliance and hasn’t finished the rogue story yet.

Twinblades of the Deceiver (havoc demon hunter):

Kind of a sloppy quest. I got excited when I saw Illysanna Ravencrest was involved because I thought it’d help explain how she came to be a boss in Black Rook Hold, and I guess it does, but if you blink, you’ll miss it. Wasted potential there.

Plus the ending just doesn’t make any sense.

The Dreadblades (outlaw rogue):

Not a bad quest, but an unremarkable one. I’ve never understood the appeal of pirates in fiction, and the story has basically zero relevance to the greater Warcraft lore.

My rogue wielding the Dreadblades, Fate and Fortune, in World of Warcraft: LegionWarswords of the Valarjar (fury warrior):

Very basic. Feels like any other random side quest.

Fangs of Ashamane (feral druid):

Meh.

Aldrachi Warblades (vengeance demon hunter):

Short and forgettable. Nothing particularly bad about it, but nothing that stands out, either. Tells you nothing about the artifact or its history.

Maw of the Damned (blood death knight):

Nothing wrong with this quest, but nothing to praise, either. It’s very adequate.

Ebonchill, Greatstaff of Alodi (frost mage):

SUPERB CASTING. GET BACK TO THE FOCUS. I’LL KEEP AN EYE OUT.

SUPERB CASTING. GET BACK TO THE FOCUS. I’LL KEEP AN EYE OUT.

SUPERB CASTING. GET BACK TO THE FOCUS. I’LL KEEP AN EYE OUT.

The quest to acquire Ebonchill, Greatstaff of Alodi in World of Warcraft: LegionMake… it… stop…

Also the boss fight was too easy.

Strom’kar, the Warbreaker (arms warrior):

Maybe it’s because I did it last, but I found this the least interesting of the quests at the Tomb of Tyr. Seemed very easy, too.

Arms is a lot more fun to play than I expected, though.

Thas’dorah, Legacy of the Windrunners (markmanship hunter):

It started out well, but was too inconclusive. Ultimately little more than a tease for longtime lore fans, bringing us tantalizing close to the answer to a very long-held question but never actually giving it. That wouldn’t come until Argus.

Titanstrike (beast mastery hunter):

Seemed meatier than most artifact quests, which I appreciate. Needs less Mimiron, though.

Skull of the Man’ari (demonology warlock):

Hard to separate how much I dislike the new demonology from the quest, but Mephistroph is a good villain. Seemed unusually challenging, but maybe it’s just because I’m not used to the spec.

Ulthalesh, the Deadwind Harvester (affliction warlock):

The quest to acquire Ulthalesh, the Deadwind Harvester in World of Warcraft: LegionHad a nice spooky feel, but was a bit confusing. Didn’t explain the history of the artifact very well.

Talonclaw, Spear of the Wild Gods (survival hunter):

One of the more fun artifact quests in terms of gameplay, but kind of a giant heap of nothing story-wise, especially considering the history of the artifact. There’s a lot more they could have done.

Aluneth, Greatstaff of the Magna (arcane mage):

Interesting revisiting the Ethereum and the Nexus War. Not sure I like the idea of a weapon that talks back so much, though.

Scale of the Earth-Warder (protection warrior):

Not a huge fan of artifact quests that have so little to do with the actual artifact, but the story of the son trying to save his father’s soul was an interesting angle.

Scythe of Elune (balance druid):

This is pretty much the quest for Ulthalesh with slight tweaks. It’s a good quest, but a weapon with such legendary history deserves better.

Apocalypse (unholy death knight):

Another Ulthalesh clone, but better executed. You still don’t learn much about Apocalypse itself, but the story surrounding its acquisition is complete and satisfying.

The Doomhammer (enhancement shaman):

Acquiring the Doomhammer artifact in World of Warcraft: LegionI’d probably rate this quest higher, but I expected more for such an iconic part of Warcraft lore than just bashing Troggs and fighting one demon.

Honestly the best part was probably Stormcaller Mylra, who has always been and will always be awesome. Sassy Dwarf lady FTW.

Sharas’dal, Scepter of the Tides (restoration shaman):

I don’t understand why this is a shaman artifact. I mean, I get the water connection, but it still feels weird for an item associated with one of Azeroth’s most infamous and evil mages to be wielded by a shaman healer.

That said, this quest is pretty good. I always liked Vashj’ir, and the end boss’s fate is… memorable.

Xal’atath, Blade of the Black Empire (shadow priest):

A somewhat short but entirely satisfying quest. Interesting story, nothing to complain about.

T’uure, Beacon of the Naaru (holy priest):

Interesting thing about this one is it features cameos by a couple of characters from other class stories: Vindicator Boros and Jace Darkweaver. Nice bit of continuity there.

And it’s a pretty fun quest all around.

Sheilun, Staff of the Mists (Mistweaver Monk):

Fighting to claim Sheilun, Staff of the Mists in World of Warcraft: LegionNot very story-heavy, but the familiar characters and location still gave it a great jolt of Pandaria nostalgia. Challenging enough to be interesting, but not frustrating.

Felo’melorn (fire mage):

Less Blood Elf lore than I expected/wanted, but was interesting to revisit Icecrown.

Fangs of the Devourer (subtlety rogue):

This quest did a great job of capturing the rogue feel and making use of the class’s mechanics — from stealth to pick-pocketing — and had a surprisingly epic story to boot, sending you face to face with one of the greatest villains in Warcraft lore.

The Silver Hand (holy paladin):

Paladins have excellent luck with artifact quests. This one is very intense, and I hope we see the final boss again. That the best the Silver Hand has to offer were merely able to hold it off, and then only barely…

Blades of the Fallen Prince (frost death knight):

This is clearly meant to be the first artifact quest you do as a DK, and if you don’t, the timeline gets a bit wonky, but otherwise, this is an excellent quest. There’s a surprisingly clever little puzzle, and the final boss fight is a lot of fun.

Truthguard (protection paladin):

Excellent quest. Lore-rich, good use of Wrath of the Lich King nostalgia, and engaging gameplay that forces you to use your full toolkit as a paladin tank. There’s even a little humour, though not enough to detract from the epic feel of the quest. I loved how your allies bubble-hearth at the end.

G’Hanir, the Mother Tree (restoration druid):

Purifying G'Hanir, the Mother Tree in World of Warcraft: LegionBest of the healer quests. The mechanics make inventive use of the healer toolkit, and the story is exciting and intense.

The Scepter of Sargeras (destruction warlock):

Larger in scale than many other artifact quests — visiting many locations across the face of Azeroth — and captured the feel of the class incredibly well. Betrayal, murder, the quest for ultimate power — everything you could want from a warlock story.

Claws of Ursoc (guardian druid):

Has more effort put into it in terms of unique art and maps than probably any other artifact quest. Also serves to set-up the Emerald Nightmare raid, and revisiting Grizzlemaw for the first time in nearly a decade was warmly nostalgic. Generally pretty awesome.

Not sure this was the time for a random Mylune cameo, though.

The Fist of Ra-den (elemental shaman):

Any opportunity to revisit Pandaria is welcome, and I’m glad they let you do it on at least one non-monk class.

It’s also a very well-rounded quest. Lots of backstory on the artifact, reunions with familiar faces, some of the most inventive boss fights I’ve seen in an artifact quest, a little humour, and a very intense ending.

Plus I finally got to smack Li Li Stormstout. What’s not to love?

Fu Zan, the Wanderer’s Companion (brewmaster monk):

The artifact quest for Fu Zan, the Wanderer's Companion in World of Warcraft: LegionIf you were to distill Mists of Pandaria into a single one-hour story arc, it would be Fu Zan’s quest. It was charming and whimsical in places, yet deadly serious when it needed to be. It did an excellent job of showing how widespread the Legion invasion is and how vicious it can be.

It had some subtlety, too. Though the Monkey King’s task seem simple at first, afterward it occurred to me his request for a special brew was really an attempt to save Pandaria’s food supply. Every place I went to for ingredients was some crucial location the Legion was on the brink of destroying.

A very clever, fun quest.

Ashbringer (retribution paladin):

The Ashbringer quest is an absolute tour de force from beginning to end. It features iconic characters from throughout Warcraft lore and actually represents a pretty major moment in the game’s overall story.

Balnazzar puts on one of the best villain monologues I’ve ever heard, echoing Sovereign’s equally chilling speech in the original Mass Effect, only for the player to turn the tables on him in epic fashion.

Unlike many artifact quests, you claim the Ashbringer before the final boss fight, and the fight mechanics are tailored around the sword’s ability, which makes for a very satisfying experience.

Confronting Balnazzar during the Ashbringer artifact quest in World of Warcraft: LegionAs much as I’ve enjoyed artifact quests, I generally wouldn’t say they’re worth making new alts just to experience them, but this is the exception. It’s worth making a paladin just to do the Ashbringer quest. It’s moving, it’s exciting, it plays to nostalgia without leaning on it as a crutch, and it’s just plain fun.

TV: iZombie Recovers, Lucifer Falters, Lost in Space Disappoints

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Lately there’s been an unusual excess of sci-fi and fantasy TV for me to watch. Unfortunately, it hasn’t all turned out to be must-see television, but it has been interesting enough for me to have a few thoughts to share.

"Brother Love" (Robert Knepper) in iZombie season four(Un)Life in New Seattle:

I went into season four of iZombie with a fair bit of trepidation. While season three impressed out of the gate, over time it began to flag badly. The plot was extremely over-complicated and confusing, and most of the characters ended up going in dark directions that I didn’t care for. I was worried the show was losing its mojo.

However, I am pleased to report that, with only a few episodes left, season four has been kicking all of the ass.

iZombie is now a very different series from when it started. It’s gone from a very simple, lighthearted show with a very small focus to a much more intense drama where the very fate of humanity may hang in the balance.

It’s a big adjustment, but I deeply admire the writers for being courageous enough to shake things up so much, and for the most part, it’s paid off. Season four of iZombie still maintains much of the quirky charm and off the walls humour that made us all fall in love with the series, but it’s now a bigger, more powerful story as well.

I was initially skeptical of the show’s continued reliance on the case of the week formula — it was one of the things that dragged season three down — but they’ve mostly done a good job of making the cases tie into the greater narrative, and they haven’t been afraid to buck the formula when the situation calls for it.

The cast of iZombieSimilarly, I didn’t at first enjoy the idea of bringing Angus back into the story, as it felt like his plot had been pretty conclusively wrapped up, but “Brother Love” has became one of the most spectacularly creepy yet gripping aspects of the series to date.

My one big complaint would be that the season’s attempts at social commentary have largely fallen flat. The conflict between zombies and humans is clearly intended to echo real world prejudices, but real world minorities aren’t an existential threat to the human race, whereas zombies are, so the anti-zombie perspective ends up far more sympathetic than the writers seem to want. Any message of tolerance is lost in translation.

It also feels like a little bit of a missed opportunity not to revisit Liv’s estranged family now that the zombified cat is out of the bag and they (presumably) know why she couldn’t save her brother, but it’s already such a packed season I can understand why they haven’t tried to cram that in on top of everything else.

Aside from that, season four of iZombie has been nearly flawless.

I was pleased to see the show has already been renewed for a final season. Even before the announcement, I was thinking to myself that the story seemed to have about one season left in it, so I think this will work out well.

Hell fallen:

On the other hand, Lucifer’s third season ended up being mostly a disappointment. It started out okay, and it had some good ideas, but a number of missteps dragged it down.

The official logo for the TV series LuciferFor one, it focused far too much on relationship angst. The conflict between Linda and Maze was utterly unnecessary, and the love triangle at the heart of the season was just terrible.

I hate love triangles at the best of times, and this one was made worse by how uninteresting Chloe continues to be. For a romantic arc to work, the love interest has to be appealing to the viewer, but Chloe just isn’t appealing at all. She’s dull, wooden, and lifeless. I can’t understand why anyone would want to be with her, let alone why two immortals would end up competing over her.

Also, the case of the week formula began to really bog things down. It’s always been the weakest element of Lucifer, but rather than de-emphasizing it as iZombie wisely has, Lucifer clung to it with an incredible fervour.

It became painfully predictable. Each week, a new murder where there’s no relevance to the meta-plot, the true culprit is blindingly obvious, and Lucifer makes it all about him in an incredibly childish manner.

Lucifer’s immature ways were amusing for a time, but by now, I was expecting the character to have evolved. Even a show as silly as Lucifer needs some character development.

Lucifer with his renewed wings in season threeHe does finally grow a bit by the end of the season, but only after a truly painful expanse of episodes where the series pretty much just chased its tail.

The frustrating thing is that season three had a lot going for it. “The Sinner Man” was a very interesting villain, and his arc had some memorable twists. There was potential there. Charlotte’s storyline this season was nothing short of brilliant, but it got largely ignored in favour of the petty angst that defined so much of season three.

Sadly, Lucifer has now been cancelled, which means season three may well be its last, barring a miracle pick-up by Netflix or some other network. Despite my criticism of season three, I would like to see it continue. As iZombie illustrates, one bad season doesn’t necessarily spell doom for a show, and the ending of season three did look set to move the show in a fresh direction.

Doldrums, Will Robinson:

Going in, I heard a lot of good buzz around Netflix’s Lost in Space reboot from people whom I respect. Therefore I was quite surprised by how boring it turned out to be.

I mean, it’s not terrible. I’ll probably watch the second season (which is already confirmed). But I can’t say I’m impressed.

For one thing, it is, to be blunt, pretty dumb at times. I never fully recovered from the brain-achingly silly pilot.

The robot and the Robinson children in Netflix's Lost in Space rebootSeriously, guys, that’s not how ice works. At all. I don’t expect a lot of realism from my sci-fi, but when you’re screwing up something you could have tested in your home refrigerator…

The biggest problem, though, is that none of the characters feel real. Dr. Smith is so cartoonishly evil she seem ends up feeling more ridiculous than sinister. The rest of the cast (with one exception) is little better. They all feel forced and unreal.

I also thought the plot was undermined by how much of the show’s drama is dependent on the incompetence of the Robinson children (especially Will, who is just terrible on every level). Either they’re superhuman wiz kids who can serve as part of a deep space exploration mission, or they’re just kids who make mistakes, in which case they have no place on a mission like this. You can’t have it both ways, but that’s exactly what Lost in Space tries to do.

The only strong mark in the show’s favour — aside from the admittedly amazing production values — is Penny, who is awesome. Alone among all the cast, she feels like a real person. She acts pretty much exactly how I would expect a teenage girl to act. She’s precocious, but not superhuman, and relatable in a way the other children aren’t.

And her snark is delightful.

As I said, I’ll probably return for season two, but for me Lost in Space is very much in the “I’m watching this because there’s nothing better to do” category.