Review: Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome

Review: Blood and Chrome

The webisodes have finished. We have now seen the fullness of the backdoor pilot to the new Battlestar Galactica spin-off, Blood and Chrome.

I don’t even know where to begin. Words like “appalling,” “train wreck,” and “unnecessary” come to mind, but none of them seem to do justice.

I have only two good things to say about this show, so I guess I’ll just get them out of the way first.

The first is that I feel Battlestar Galactica already jumped the shark pretty thoroughly in the fourth season, so Blood and Chrome can’t really ruin my fond memories of the show. That’s already been done.

The second is that Bear McCreary is still one of the best soundtrack composers around. Blood and Chrome is almost worth watching for the music alone. Almost.

The rest of the show is utter dreck.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Luke Pasqualino is horrifically miscast as William Adama. This pretty boy is not even remotely reminiscent of the gravitas of the Old Man. That kid from Caprica was more of a badass than this guy.

The rest of the cast is little better. Coker actually feels like he belongs in the Battlestar Galactica universe, but his writing near the end got increasingly erratic until it was almost impossible to take him seriously as a character.

Dr. Obligatory Eye-Candy never seemed to display a lot of personality, and her character was overall badly underdeveloped. I’ve heard some people say the actress isn’t very good, but I’m more inclined to blame the writers. I don’t see how she could have made her lines interesting.

The plot is nonexistent. It’s just a spree of explosions and gunfights and people randomly acting crazy just for the sake of drama. It’s everything that was wrong about Battlestar Galactica and none of what was right.

They seem to have simply tried to dump a lot of pew pew on the viewer in the hopes it would distract us from the fact that nothing is actually happening most of the time.

We learn nothing of relevance about the Cylon War or Adama’s character. I’ve got nothing against prequels when they actually add to the universe they take place in, but this was just a blatant attempt to milk a dry teat.

Say what you will about Caprica, but at least it expanded the mythos. For all its mistakes, we learned a lot about the origins of the Cylons and the society of the Twelve Colonies, and it had the potential to do much more if it had continued.

Moving on…

The virtual sets are inconsistent. Some look okay, but the ice planet looked so fake I could have seen more realistic snow effects by logging into World of Warcraft and flying to Dragonblight.

Cylon snow snakes. Cylon snow snakes. I just… I don’t even… Why?

At best, the show feels like an ill-planned fan film. Only the flashy special effects give any indication that this is a professional production.

I could go on and on. It’s not worth my time or effort. Not since JJ Abrams got his hands on Star Trek has a franchise been so thoroughly abused.

Overall rating: 2/10 Please, Syfy. Let it die.

Do You Have An Ideal RPG Character?

Over the past year or so, I’ve played several games that give you pretty much free reign to create whatever character you want. The Secret World and Fable: The Lost Chapters both allow you to create pretty much any ability set (within reason), and Aion and Guild Wars 2 are both games that allow nearly limitless appearance customization.

My thief in the Guild Wars 2 betaAnd as I’ve played these games, certain patterns have begun to arise. There are certain themes that keep coming up over and over when I’m given the freedom to create whatever character I wish.

This has led me to wonder whether I, and other people, have an “ideal” RPG character that we will always gravitate towards creating if we have the chance. And if so, why are these traits our ideals?

There are two sides to this: appearance and abilities.

Appearance:

My rogue and her "srs" faceWhile I do play and enjoy characters with other looks, there is one look that keeps coming up over and over. If you’re a regular reader, you’re probably used to it by now: a tough-looking woman with an athletic, muscular build and black hair tied back in a ponytail. I’ve also occasionally dabbled with tough-looking women with tied back white hair.

Examples of these include my World of Warcraft rogue, my other WoW rogue, my Guild Wars 2 thief, my GW2 mesmer, and my Templar in The Secret World. If we add those with white hair, the list also includes my WoW warlock, my GW2 thief from the beta, and my ranger in Aion.

This all began with my rogue in Warcraft. I chose to make her tough-looking because, well, she’s a killer. I’m not sure why I always go for black hair, but the ponytail is because I wanted a style where her hair wouldn’t get in her eyes while she’s stabbing people.

Similar reasoning also applies to why I choose athletic builds in games where body customization is possible. My characters are fighters; they should look the part.

My character in Aion, an Asmodian rangerI also tend to make my characters tall when given the chance. The reasoning for this is simple to understand. Despite being of normal height for a white male, I’ve always felt oddly inadequate about my height and wished I was taller.

As for why I keep playing women… that’s more complicated. I’ve already talked about that in some detail, but I suspect I still don’t have all the answers.

Abilities:

I first started thinking about this when I spent a week playing Fable: The Lost Chapters about a year ago. This was by no means a particularly good game, but one thing I did appreciate was the utter freedom of character design. You can pretty much be whatever you want.

I went into this game with no plan. I just did whatever seemed like a good idea at the time and progressed as felt natural. This makes my Fable character possibly the truest expression of what my ideal playstyle would be.

My warlock posing in the Jade ForestSo what was my Fable hero? A great, hulking, plate-wearing, greatsword-wielding, fireball-hurling battle mage.

The Secret World is also incredibly open in the kind of character you can create. What did a I end up using there? Fist weapons and blood magic. Again, melee and magic.

My Templar alt has settled on swords and pistols. In GW2, my warrior uses axes/longbow, my thief uses daggers/pistols, and my mesmer uses sword/staff. All characters that combine melee and ranged abilities.

Is it any coincidence that I stopped playing Aion right around the time my melee abilities stopped being competitive with my ranged skills?

Hanging bodies in Blue MountainSo it’s clear that I prefer characters that are capable of fighting both with melee weapons and at range. Which makes sense, as I enjoy both. If I had to pick one, I would probably play ranged, but melee has a visceral thrill that ranged fighting just doesn’t quite equal. Plus, melee weapons are better aesthetically — they look more heroic.

As for which melee weapons, I prefer to dual wield weapons — usually swords — instead of using two-handed weapons. Plus, dual wielding tends to lead to faster attacks, which is what I prefer.

I also like characters that have at least some magical capacity. I’ll be honest; this is mostly just down to looks. Magic is pretty.

(Mini-rant: Why don’t games put more effort into making non-magical skills look good? You developers could really learn something from Aion here.)

My Norn thief in Hoelbrak in Guild Wars 2Reading it back, this seems kind of greedy of me. I want my character to be everything: ranged and melee, magical and physical.

But is that wrong? Why should our characters need to fit into rigid boxes? I won’t say that classes are a bad thing necessarily, but I feel they are often too confining.

One place where I have to give Guild Wars 2 credit is the way they let you interpret each archetype very broadly. A thief can be a subtle assassin, a sword-wielding brawler, a gunslinger, or artillery.

Classes do muddle the idea of an “ideal character” somewhat, as do game mechanics. I’ve always loved the idea of playing an archer, but most games tie bows to annoying crap like pets, minimum range, or an overabundance of ground target AoEs. So my view of what my ideal character would be may be somewhat skewed by the games I’ve played.

My ranger character in AionAlso, it’s probably impossible to ever get every experience you want from one character. If you like playing tanks and glass cannon DPS, you obviously can’t be both at once.

The ideal:

So my ideal character would likely be a female character with an athletic build, tied-back dark hair, and abilities  that combine fast melee skills with ranged magic.

Hmm, no wonder I liked Dungeon Siege III so much. I basically just described Anjali.

At the same time, it also seems clear to me I could never only play one character, no matter how closely it matched my ideal. We all need a change of pace now and then.

My mesmer showing off her gear in Rata SumWhat about you? Do you have an “ideal” RPG character? What would it be, and what makes it your ideal?

God damn it, now I’m upset there wasn’t a Dungeon Siege III expansion again. ><