Tag Archives: writing

THIS IS KARKA!

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But it’s also madness:

Battling the Ancient Karka in the Lost Shores event for Guild Wars 2Let’s not mince words: the Lost Shores events in Guild Wars 2 over the weekend were a train wreck. They were not simply a clusterf***; they were a catastrof***.

An endless spree of glitches and bugs, everyone experienced their own unique flavour of ArenaNet’s virtual faceplant. Personally, my experience varied by the day.

The first day wasn’t too bad. The first fifteen minutes or so were unplayable due to DCs, but after that, it was just a lot of lag. The event itself was nothing special, consisting mainly of fighting crab monsters (called karka) in Lion’s Arch.

Saturday’s event was a bit more interesting in concept. We landed on the Lost Shores and set about taming the land, establishing bridges and camps that will be used by all future visitors to the zone.

Battling karka on the Lost Shores in Guild Wars 2Unfortunately, this is where things really went off the rails technically. Among other issues, I spent most of it unable to see anything but my character and the terrain. I also had no sound for most of it.

And this was after a half hour of waiting because the event was late in getting started. I think there was an entire stage of the event that never triggered. On the plus side, we had a dance party on the lighthouse in Lion’s Arch that proved surprisingly entertaining.

The third day was the smoothest technically, but consisted mainly of hours of grinding through a single event chain. The length came not from the amount of content it held, but from the fact that all the mobs had approximately fourteen quadrillion HP and possessed abilities capable of one-shotting a dozen players at once. At one point, all my gear had been broken but for my coat, leaving me to fight karka half-naked.

It was brutal.

The loot at the end was very good, but after what we went through, nothing short of legendaries would have felt like sufficient reward.

Words cannot adequately describe the surreal horror of these events, so I’m just going to spam you with screenshots.

Picture time:

Dancing on the Lion's Arch lighthouseDancing on top of the Lion's Arch lighthouseYou just haven’t lived until you’ve danced with a candy corn monster and an eight-hundred pound Norn man in fluorescent pink armor.

It was sort of like thatYeah, it was sort of like that.

Countless dead players during the Lost Shores event in Guild Wars 2Each of those blue symbols represents a dead player. This was a common sight. Very common.

Building the bridge on the Lost Shores in Guild Wars 2A brief moment in which my fellow players were visible.

Invisible players and NPCs during the Lost Shores event in GW2I’m actually surrounded by players and NPCs in this screenshot. The shield icon hovers over the head of the main event NPC. Also, BACON SQUAD, OO-RAH!

Rage and reflection:

Oddly enough, though, I don’t feel ready to join the legions of angry players howling for ArenaNet’s blood — though I certainly don’t blame them for their feelings.

I won’t defend this most epic of fails, but I will say that I appreciate ArenaNet having the guts to even attempt a live event like this. MMOs should be the most unpredictable and ever-changing genre of game, but often, they’re the most static. I salute ANet for breaking the mould, and I hope they do more such events.

I just hope that those events are nothing at all like Lost Shores.

Also, for what it’s worth, I did quite enjoy the second day, purely because of the people. I did more chatting that day than I have in any game since my Alliance guild split up. It felt good to be a part of a game’s community. Felt like a proper MMO — game-breaking bugs aside.

New article:

My latest article at WhatMMO is 6 MMOs Deserving Resurrection. I always wanted to try Tabula Rasa, but it shut down before I got the chance.

Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome Webisodes Live

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After what seems like an eternity of delays, Syfy (AKA Syphilis Channel) has, with almost no warning or fanfare, begun releasing the pilot for the latest Battlestar Galactica spin-off, Blood and Chrome, as a series of webisodes. The first two are already live.

It hasn’t come up much on this blog before, but I am a fan of the reimagined Battlestar Galactica, even if I wouldn’t touch the original with a ten foot pole. Well, sort of a fan, anyway. The first three seasons were brilliant, but as an acquaintance of mine aptly put it, “the show collapsed under its own weight in the last season.”

I also watched the short-lived Caprica spin-off. I had mixed feelings on it to say the least, but I’d say I still hold a higher opinion of it than most Galactica fans, and I still believe the pilot was one of the most brilliant pieces of television you’ll ever have the privilege to witness.

As for Blood and Chrome — not a fan of the name, by the way — my feelings are lukewarm at best. The fact is that we already know everything there is to know about the first Cylon War, and I don’t see the need to learn more about it. Plus, the entire cycle of development hell has left little room for hope.

Still, I have far too much franchise loyalty for my own good, so I dutifully sat down to watch the first two ten minute webisodes.

It’s too early to make any firm judgments, but it’s more or less living up to my expectations. And that’s not a good thing.

Nico Cortez as a young William Adama in the Razor flashbacks.Every Galactica fan worth their salt is pissed off that they didn’t bring back Nico Cortez of the Razor flashbacks to play the young William Adama, and this first taste of Blood and Chrome proves why. Whereas Cortez brought a hint of Edward James Olmos’ gravitas with a nice twist of youthful vigor, Luke Pasqualino is just… a scrawny pretty boy.

Make no mistake: the character in Blood and Chrome is not Bill Adama. He is, at best, a half-assed Kara Thrace with a penis.

I particularly dislike how they’re going with the cliche of setting him up as some natural-born super pilot. I had the same complaint about Kirk’s portrayal in the JJ Abrams Star Trek parody movie. He’s a starship captain, not the Chosen One. He’s not Luke Skywalker or Harry fracking Potter.

In general, too, I just think focusing on Adama is a mistake. I love the Old Man as much as anyone, but we already know all we need to know about him. Let some new characters shine. They made the same mistake with Caprica. They had a fantastic story about the rise of the Cylons, and then they torpedoed it by wasting half their time trying to justify the presence of the Adama family.

Still, there are some brief glimmers of hope. The virtual sets turned out a lot better than I expected, and the show as a whole looks great. The space dogfights are as amazing as ever. Bear McReary continues to prove why he’s one of the best soundtrack composers in the business.

I also liked Adama’s co-pilot. Coker, was it? He’s the only character so far who feels like he came out of the BSG universe, as opposed to a book of military fiction cliches. The alcoholism is perhaps laying it on a bit thick, but he feels believable as a grizzled veteran, and he’s a great counterpoint to Adama Lite’s “eager beaver” attitude.

All in all, it’s too early to make any firm judgments about Blood and Chrome. I’m not impressed, but I’ll give it a chance to improve.

New article:

My latest article for WhatMMO is Honest MMO Previews. Here’s an excerpt:

“So come play Mists of Pandaria! It’s the most fun, quick, slow, brutal, grindy, casual friendly, hardcore, easy, exclusive, inclusive, open ended, railroaded World of Warcraft expansion ever!”