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Retro Review: Black Company

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Retro Review: Black Company:

The Black Company is series of twisted fantasy novels by author Glen Cook, and it’s one of the most unique reads I’ve ever had–which is both a positive and a negative.

The Black Company books follow, not surprisingly, the Black Company, Last of the Free Companies of Khatovar,* the baddest, roughest, toughest, meanest mercenary company around.

*(A fact they are very proud of, despite the fact that they’ve been around so long they no longer have any idea what Khatovar is or what happened to the other Free Companies.)

On paper (no pun intended), the Black Company books are very ordinary. Blah blah ancient evil returns, blah blah last stand against the darkness. The universe is extremely traditional, right down to wizards jealously guarding their true names lest they lose their powers.

What’s unique is the execution. When the evil Ten Who Were Taken escape from their eternal prison, the Black Company is hired by them. When the last stand against the darkness comes, the Black Company is there to help crush the last hope of freedom.

Needless to say, it takes some getting used to. These are very, very dark books, and it can be difficult to identify with the protagonists when the best among them are just not participating in the rape and torture going on all around them–they’re not trying to stop it.

What saves these books is the writing. They’re all written in first person perspective; whose perspective that is varies a bit from book to book (to the author’s credit, each character has a unique voice, and it’s fairly easy to distinguish between them), but most of the time, it’s Croaker, the Black Company’s physician/chronicler. Supposedly, the books are his chronicles of the Company–the Black Company’s devotion to its history borders on the religious.

These books are worth reading just for Croaker’s dry wit and profound cynicism. The most horrible atrocities are just oddly amusing when told through his wry voice. I really have to give Glen Cook credit for the quality of the writing here. It does not feel like you’re reading something written by Glen Cook; it feels like you’re reading a book by Croaker. And Croaker’s about as close to a good person as you will ever see in the Company, so that helps.

It’s also worth noting that the Company is not on the side of the bad guys for the entire series–it’s really just the first few books. Whether or not they ever really qualify as the good guys is arguable, but at the very least, they wind up as the lesser of two evils.

One other thing I need to mention about these books is the Black Company’s two wizards, Goblin and One-Eye. Simply put, they are made of awesome.

Each is described as “older and uglier than sin,” which is an interesting coincidence, since sin is their favourite pastime. One-Eye is a tiny, wiry witch doctor from some primeval jungle in the ass end of nowhere, and is known for his hideous appearance, his eye patch, his association with every black market in every settlement everywhere, and for being the owner of the oldest, ugliest, filthiest hat in existence. Oh, and did I mention he’s the Company dentist?

Goblin is fat and squeaky, and just as steeped in criminality as his cohort. Both spend the vast majority of their time trying to make the other’s life miserable with an endless spree of magical pranks and jokes–such as making each other vomit hundreds of spiders. The only thing more hilarious than their endless brawling is how incredibly blase about it the rest of the Company is.

For the sake of expedience, I’ve been reviewing this series as one homogenous block, but it’s really not at all. This is a very long series that covers several different story arcs. It varies in tone, content, and quality by quite a bit. All I can say is that if you average it out, it’s pretty good. It’s also worth noting that the overall trend in Black Company’s quality is upward–it gets better the farther into it you get. You need to have a somewhat strong stomach, but if you’re in the market for something a little different, I highly recommend this series.

Overall rating: 8/10

These days, the books are usually sold in four omnibuses (the books are both small and numerous, so it makes sense), and my Amazon Affiliate is no exception. For the record, the proper reading order is “Chronicles of the Black Company,” “The Books of the South,” “The Return of the Black Company,” and “The Many Deaths of the Black Company.”

Newbs and a Harry Potter Review. But Mostly Newbs

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Newbs:

My life as of late seems plagued by newbs. For one thing, I’ve gotten into several truly awful WoW raid PUGs in the last few days. In one, I came in to heal a Baradin Hold guild run (not my guild, thank god), only to find that they were trying to kill the new boss, Occu’thar, with DPS that wouldn’t have been nearly sufficient for the much easier Argaloth. Most of them didn’t even have gems in their gear. I try to fight every elitist urge I have, and I rarely judge people harshly for not having the very best gear or enchants, but not geming is just something that gets under my skin. It’s hanging a giant “I don’t care about succeeding, and I’m willing to drag everyone in my group down with me” sign around one’s neck.

A day later, I was thrilled to finally be invited to a Firelands group, only to find out the group had only one healer (me), and one tank. The raid leader was an all PvP gear and didn’t even know what a role check was. Needless to say, I bailed on the group–something I only do under the most dire circumstances. I try to be very tolerant of the inexperienced and help them when I can, but when you don’t even understand that raids take multiple tanks and healers, I start to wonder if you bought your toon off eBay.

Then today I joined another Firelands group (after having to explain my class, spec, and ilevel to the raider leader about seven times, after he said I could come), only to find the group had vanished and only the leader was left. He evaded my questions about what had happened to the rest of the group, and when I asked for clarification, he called me an obscenity and stormed from the group. This very suspicious fellow is now resting comfortably in my ignore list.

But my newb problem isn’t limited to the gaming world. A few months ago, I submitted some of my short fiction to a new anthology of fantasy fiction, “Beneath a Violet Moon” from an obscure company called Inceptus Press. And then I waited for a response. And waited. And waited. At last, a few days ago, I checked their blog, and discovered they had decided not to do the anthology after all because they didn’t like the submissions.

What bothers me about this is they didn’t bother to inform the contributors by any means but a single poorly advertised post. All they would have had to do is write a brief form letter explaining the situation and do a mass mailing to all their contributors. It probably would have taken the same amount of effort as the blog post.
That they neglected to do so proves they are a tactless, rude, and unprofessional group of people.

In other words, they’re newbs.

Anyway, I did promise a review…

Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part one:

Last night, I finally got around to seeing the second to last Harry Potter film on DVD. I’ve found all of the movies to date rather disappointing compared to the awesomeness of the books, to varying degrees. Order of the Phoenix was pretty enjoyable and almost as good as the book, but Half-Blood Prince was a horrific butcher job.

The Deathly Hallows was probably the closest to the books so far in terms of following the specifics of events. Little was left out, and for the first time, it felt properly paced instead of seeming like a jerky plot summary of the book. But that said, it still comes up short.

This was the first time I realized this, but the actors playing Harry, Ron, and Hermione simply aren’t very talented. Ron is probably the best, but that’s likely just down to his being the easiest role to play. Daniel Radcliffe has none of the intensity or gravitas Harry carried in the book, and Emma Watson tries her best, but she just comes off as too shrill and girly. Neither have the strength of personality to pull off their respective roles. The good acting is reserved for the minor roles: Bellatrix Lestrange and Luna Lovegood.

There was one big blunder, too. (Warning: Spoiler ahead if you haven’t read the book–and if you haven’t, have you been living under a rock?) In the scene where Bellatrix is torturing Hermione, I remember book-Ron going absolutely ballistic. It was a crucial scene that really proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her. In the movie, he hardly reacted at all.

Overall rating: 6.4/10 The Deathly Hallows part one is one of the better efforts to emulate the books thus far, but it still doesn’t work that well.

One final note–Weird Worm posted another of my articles: Beloved But Short-Lived Sci-fi Shows.