I Don’t Have a Beta Pun

Mists of Pandaria beta:

A wallpaper for World of Warcraft: Mists of PandariaAfter much anticipation, Blizzard has sent beta invites to the last 400,000 annual pass holders, including yours truly, and I’ve set to work testing the new changes.

As I planned, I have largely avoided the new zones, aside from five minutes spent checking out Pandaren emotes and animations on the Wandering Isle. I won’t post a screenshot for fear of spoiling those who haven’t seen it, but the Pandaren male sleep animation is almost certainly the Best Thing Ever.

I then left, as the crowds in that zone were making it virtually unplayable.

Pandas everywhere!I did, however, make an Undead monk. It’s too early for me to form a strong opinion of the class, but I do like how fast and dynamic it feels. And roll is amazingly fun.

Otherwise, I’ve mostly been trying out the changes to the classes I currently play, especially warlock.

The new destruction spec is insanely fun. It reminds me of playing a combat rogue — never a dull moment — but with lots of fire and blood sacrifice and craziness.

There are still some parts of it that need tweaks (like how hard it is to build an infernal ember in short fights, like trash and questing), but I’m honestly dreading going back to the live version of destro. The new version is just that much better.

My destro warlock setting herself on fire in the Mists of Pandaria betaDemonology has not fared so well, but it’s still a work in progress, so I won’t worry too much. As of now, though, it’s buggy, clunky, and just all kinds of awkward. Ground target AoEs have no place in a single target rotation, and why the hell does metamorphosis — my big, bad, beast mode ability — leave me with fewer abilities to deal damage with?

Aside from that, I’ve been trying some new things. I was always curious how hunters played at high levels, so I got myself a premade Troll huntard. Marksmanship spec put me to sleep, but survival is decently fun, though I still think using cast time abilities to regenerate focus is completely back asswards.

I’ve also tried retribution spec on my paladin for the first time, since I’ve heard it’s been improved in Mists of Pandaria. The rotation is a little counter-intuitive (especially the way you want to bank holy power instead of spending as you get it), but it’s not too bad.

But PandaLand is not the only beta I’m playing this weekend…

Dios mio! El Diablo!

Funny, just a few days ago, I’d never played a beta test in my life. Now I’m juggling two.

For this weekend only, Blizzard is holding a “stress test” of the Diablo III servers, allowing anyone to join in the beta. “Why not?” I figured.

So a surprisingly short download later, I was back in the world of Sanctuary for the first time in what must be a decade. I didn’t want to spoil myself for live too much, so I made a monk — a class that interested me enough to want to play it, but not enough that it’s likely to be what I play when the game is released.

Based on initial impressions, I like D3, but I don’t love it.

My main thought so far is that this really feels like Diablo, which is both a positive and a negative. It does have the dark, haunting ambiance I remember fondly from Diablo II, but on the other hand, it’s still a game where virtually everything can be accomplished by left-clicking.

A monk character battling in Diablo 3The combat is a little more varied and dynamic than in Diablo II… but that doesn’t really say much. It’s still quite mindless, and not nearly as fluid or exciting as Dungeon Siege III’s combat system.

Although to be fair, it will probably improve once I can use more than two offensive abilities at a time.

It also still contains mind-bogglingly stupid mechanics, like the need to sacrifice stats on your gear to make it easier to pick up gold (which is a surprisingly annoying process for a game so focused on loot). I’m reminded of the +illumination gear from Diablo II. Needing gear for quality of life improvements sucked then, and it sucks now.

Between things like that and the oddly crude graphics, I can’t escape the feeling that I’m playing a game that’s several years old, not due for release next month.

But I’m being too harsh. The game’s simplicity is addictive, and the absurd gore and ragdoll physics making tearing through the hordes of zombies plenty entertaining. Every time I literally kick an enemy out of its skin, my heart smiles.

Honestly, the thing that most impresses me so far is the story. Not so much for the story itself (although it is good thus far), but because of the way it’s told.

As with past Diablo games, you can talk to characters in town for more info on lore and events, but in Diablo III, you can also find a lot of lore from books scavenged in the field or just random pop-ups that appear as you fight.

The cool thing, though, is that this lore is presented in the form of audio that continues to play as you fight. You can absorb a huge amount of lore without interrupting your adventuring for a second.

This is one of those brilliantly simple ideas I can’t believe no one’s thought of before.

New writing:

Weird Worm has posted yet another of my articles, Five Odd Sports. I know I said this last time, but I’m pretty sure this is the last one I did for them.

Heart of the Swarm Multiplayer: Blizz, I Am Disappoint

Blizzard recently released an update on the new multiplayer units for Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm, and I have to say, I’m disappointed.

Dey terk our carriers!

As you may recall from the multiplayer announcements at Blizzcon, Blizzard is planning to remove several units in Heart of the Swarm, including the Protoss carrier. This saddened me at the time, but now I’m even more irritated by the decision.

You see, the plan is to replace the carrier with a new capitol ship called the tempest (pictured above). Originally, the tempest was to be an area of effect anti-air unit, which does fill a niche Protoss needed. But since then, phoenixes received a range upgrade and are now much more viable as air superiority units, so the original tempest was no longer needed.

Their solution is to make the tempest a long-ranged, single target siege unit. In other words, it now fills exactly the same niche as the carrier.

/facepalm

Really, Blizz? Why can’t you just fix the carrier if all you’re going to do is give us a new and more boring version of it? It wouldn’t need many tweaks to be a viable unit.

Besides, the carrier is an iconic Protoss unit — the most iconic, if you ask me. It just doesn’t feel like Protoss without, “CARRIER HAS ARRIVED.” It embodies the elegance and power of the Protoss race, and it’s just damn cool.

In other news:

The other updates are equally underwhelming, if less baffling.

The replicant has been scrapped. I’m not surprised, as the ability to duplicate any unit at will would have been impossible to balance, but since this was the only really creative or interesting new unit for Heart of the Swarm, it’s still demoralizing.

The one new Protoss unit that is unchanged is the oracle. It’s still a non-destructive harassment unit designed to piss off your opponent.

On the Terran front, the shredder has also been scrapped, and they may cancel the warhound, as well. New concepts they are considering are aerial spider mines and a long range missile launcher to break siege tank lines in TvT.

The new Zerg units have not changed. The viper and the swarm host are still there, and they’ve decided not to remove the overseer after all. They’re also considering adding more kinds of nydus worms for a variety of functions, such as creep spreading. Yo dawg, I heard you like worms…

Is it just me, or are all these new units, well, boring? Maybe my expectations are too high, but I just can’t bring myself to be excited about any of them.

Admittedly, the new Zerg units look kind of fun, but even they’re not in the “ZOMG MUST HAVE” category — though maybe that’s just because I’m not much of a Zerg fan.

I know they have to be very careful with unit design to ensure a balanced e-sport, but I fear it’s robbed them of ambition. They seem unwilling to try anything new or dramatic.

Oh, well. The campaign still looks awesome, at least.

New writing:

WhatMMO has posted another of my articles: GW2, TERA, and Secret World: Who Comes Out on Top? This is the article that inspired my last blog on TSW.

Also, Weird Worm has posted another of mine, Six Greatest Simpsons Characters (Not Named Simpson). I think this the last one I wrote for them, but I can’t remember for certain.