Thinking With Portals and Talking to the Crab

I question the veracity of the cake:

Yeah, I live under a rock. It took me this long to finally play Portal. Go ahead and laugh.

Now you're thinking with portalsIt came out during my hiatus from gaming, so I largely missed the hype during its release. Didn’t learn much about it until Portal 2 came around, and even then, it honestly didn’t seem that interesting to me, despite all its popularity.

But both Portal games recently went on sale on Steam for less than they’d normally be individually, so I figured I had little to lose. Growing bored with Diablo and not yet ready to return to Warcraft full time, I installed it yesterday.

There’s no point in giving a full review since everyone’s familiar with the game by now, but there are a few thoughts I’d like to share.

Portal is obviously a brilliant game in a lot of ways. I actually found it frustrating as much as fun, but from the perspective of someone with an interest in game design, it was quite an amazing experience. I’ve never played anything quite like it.

I’m not even sure what genre to classify it as. The best I can come up with is “first person head-scratcher” or perhaps “first person Escher.”

Whatever you call it, it’s utterly unique, and that alone makes it a game I’d strongly recommend — you know, to other people who live under a rock and haven’t played it yet.

That said, I don’t think it quite lived up to all the hype. There were some puzzles that mostly just had me pulling my hair out in frustration, and it sometimes gave me painful flashbacks to the jumping puzzles in Drakan: Order of the Flame and other adventure games of my youth. One of my guiding beliefs in life is that humanity has evolved beyond the need for jumping puzzles.

And then there’s the fact that I finished the entire game in roughly four hours.

Four hours. I’ve played demos longer than that. I’ve had Deadmines runs longer than that. I counted Dungeon Siege III as a short game, and it still took me about a week to finish.

A screenshot from PortalStill, as I said, it was worthwhile as an exercise in inventive game design if nothing else. I count myself lucky to have seen some of the earliest days of PC gaming and watched the birth of entire genres, but it seemed those days were past — a depressing thought. Portal, though, is every bit as groundbreaking as the early strategy games and first person shooters of my childhood.

Portal gives me hope for the future of the gaming industry. It shows there’s still new ground to be broken.

Onward to Portal 2!

Talking to the crab:

The flames of rogue anger on Blizzard’s forum have died down to a few flickering embers of nerdrage over the past few days, but there’s still a bit of interesting discussion going on, and Ghostcrawler is still favouring us with the occasional post.

Notably, he answered another of my questions. I’d wanted to know if the changes to combat potency related to weapon speed meant that combat rogues were intended to viably dual wield 2.6 speed weapons (IE non-daggers) in Mists of Pandaria.

My rogue surveys her domainThis is something that I and many other combat rogues have long wanted. The spec hasn’t felt quite the same since they stopped making swords that are viable for offhand use. I miss my “fury rogue” look from Wrath, and having a dagger in one hand and a big sword or axe in the other just looks goofy and awkward.

GC’s answer boils down to, “Hopefully.” The way the beta’s gone so far for rogues doesn’t encourage me to optimism, but I will be overjoyed if I can be a fury rogue again in MoP. This is definitely the best rogue news to come out of the beta so far, if you ask me. Except maybe bandit’s guile stacking on the rogue.

New article:

You know how I said the last Weird Worm article was the final one I did for them? And how I said the same for the one before it? Well, 10 Female Video Game Characters Who Are More Than Just Eye Candy is really the last one. Serious this time.

Fan art of Sylvanas WindrunnerFunny story behind this one, actually. I originally wrote it many months ago for a different “list” site (which shall remain nameless), along with two other articles, but the site turned out to be run by lying, thieving, scum-sucking bastards who didn’t pay me for any of the articles.

The first two were already posted, and they ignored my request to remove them, but I was able to retract this one before they posted it. I then sold it to Weird Worm to recoup some of my losses.

Nostalgiagasm: Starcraft 1 Remastered

Nostalgiagasm is totally a word:

A few months back, I lamented that advancing technology makes video games an art form with a short shelf life. But sometimes, a game gets a second chance at life.

The original Starcraft is such a game.

A screenshot of the Starcraft 1 remastered Protoss campaignStarcraft II comes with an incredibly powerful map editor and set of modding tools, and a group of industrious gamers has used them to build a near perfect recreation of the original Starcraft campaigns using SC2’s improved graphics engine, interface, and unit pathing.

They’ve been putting out the campaigns sequentially over many months. I originally played the Terran and Zerg campaigns several months ago, but it took me a while to track down the Protoss missions, so I’ve only just finished them.

The modders have recently released the first two campaigns of the Starcraft I expansion pack, Brood War, but I haven’t played them yet. The BW Zerg campaign is still under construction.

The amount of work they’ve put into this is incredible. The maps are laid out exactly the same. The missions use the old tech trees, including units that do not exist in SC2. Every mission has all of the original objectives, music, voice overs, sound effects, and “cut scenes” — quotations used because cut scenes in the modern sense didn’t really exist in the original game. They’ve even recreated the original briefing room.

A screenshot of the briefing room in the Starcraft 1 remastered Protoss campaignThe modders even created new models for the units that aren’t in SC2, such as valkyries, arbiters, and dragoons.

This just an awesome nostalgia trip for someone like me. Starcraft was one of my favourite games growing up, and I have many fond memories of rushing home to play it after school. I haven’t played these missions since I was a kid, and many missions were too hard for my childish gaming skills, so some missions are almost like a new game to me.

Nothing is perfect:

Of course, one does have to take into account that these campaign remakes were not made by professionals. They are extremely polished for amateur work, but there are hiccups. A few missions are buggy, and the enemy AI can be wonky at times.

A screenshot of the Starcraft 1 remastered Protoss campaignThere are also some cases of “artistic license.” For example, many Brood War units appear in the original campaign. But let’s be honest; who wanted to live without medics?

Recent updates to the mod also include multiple difficulty settings, which is welcome in my view as the mod’s original difficulty setting appeared to be, “OMGWTFBBQ.”

The biggest difference is that several of the dungeon crawl missions have been turned into first person shooters. Seriously.

This is obviously a pretty bizarre experience, and these missions can be quite buggy, but I gotta give them props just for managing to turn a real time strategy game into a shooter. That, more than anything, testifies to the power of SC2’s map editor.

Story musings:

Being who I am, one of my favourite things about the remake is the chance to reexamine the original Starcraft storyline and compare it to Starcraft II’s.

Many fans, especially those who dislike SC2’s story, tend to hold the original SC up as a masterpiece of video game story-telling, but I’ve long held that their nostalgia blinds them.

In the end, I find it hard to compare SC’s story to SC2’s. They both have many strengths and many weaknesses. SC’s story is more coherent and has less filler, but it also has much less depth.

I’m struck by the fact that even a minor joke character in SC2 like Donny Vermillion gets as much or more backstory and development in SC2 than the central cast members got back in Starcraft.

A screenshot of the Starcraft 1 remastered Protoss campaignKerrigan and the Overmind are far from the brilliant villains some people make them out to be. They’re pretty much just standard “Rawr, I’m gonna kill people because I’m evil like that” baddies.

The dialogue in SC is better than that of SC2, but still a bit shaky at times. Raynor, in particular, sounds stoned out of his mind half the time, delivering such stellar lines as, ” ‘eeeeey, wassup, man?”

The Protoss campaign, though, is very epic. It still has its weak points — like the way Raynor is just sort of there with little explanation as to how or why — but it also has plenty of twists and reversals and is generally higher quality than most of SC2’s story.

And I have to admit, original Zeratul blows SC2 Zeratul out of the water. Even putting aside the change in voice actor — which could not be helped, as the original actor sadly passed away between games — the original Zeratul just seems so ridiculously badass compared to the new version. For example:

“Are you truly so blinded by your vaunted religion that you can’t see the fall ahead of you? Your Conclave believes that they are winning this war, but all they’ve succeeded in doing is helping the Overmind to win… You speak of knowledge, Judicator? You speak of experience? I have journeyed through the darkness between the most distant stars. I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities. Unto my experience, Aldaris, all that you’ve built here on Aiur is but a fleeting dream. A dream from which your precious Conclave shall awaken, finding themselves drowned in a greater nightmare.”

A screenshot of the Starcraft 1 remastered Protoss campaignThere’s just nothing to equal this speech in SC2.

In the end, I do think Starcraft had the better story, but not by much. They’re both solid but imperfect plots.

As one final random note, I really miss Aldaris. Which is weird, because I hated him back in the day. But it just doesn’t feel the same without his perfect bureaucratic dickishness.

Play it. Love it:

Download links and detailed info on the remastered campaigns can be found in this thread on TeamLiquid. Whether you’re an old Starcraft player looking for some nostalgia or someone who never played the original game and wants the backstory to SC2, I highly recommend downloading them.