Review: Last Resort

Review: Last Resort pilot

I checked out the series premiere for the new military/conspiracy thriller, Last Resort, the other night, my curiosity having been sparked by good online buzz for the show.

Certainly, it seemed like an intriguing concept. The show follows the crew of the USS Colorado, the most powerful nuclear submarine ever built. The story of the series kicks off when the Colorado receives orders to nuke Pakistan back to the stone age.

With no declaration of war or any apparent logic behind the order, the captain, Marcus Chaplin (played by Andre Braugher), calls up Washington to ask for confirmation of the order. This results in his being stricken of his command over the phone, and the order is then passed on to his first officer to let fly with the nukes.

The first officer also questions the order, and before they know it, the Colorado has been hit by another U.S. sub and left for dead at the bottom of the ocean.

Ultimately, the Colorado goes rogue, and Captain Chaplin sets himself up as the dictator of his own little island nation in the Indian Ocean, promising to nuke Washington if America so much as looks at him the wrong way.

An image from the pilot of Last ResortAs I said, it’s a premise with potential, but sadly, the execution was badly botched.

The first thing I noticed was how every character seemed to have come straight out of a catalog of over-used stereotypes. Oh, look, there’s Guy One Week from Retirement, and there’s Hardass from a Military Family, and here we have Creepy Mysterious Guy Who Describes in Detail How He’s Going to Kill You.

And it’s all downhill from there. The dialogue is poorly written and delivered in such a stilted manner that it seems as if even the actors are cringing at what they’ve been made to say.

A photo of the cast of the new series Last ResortThe story is ripe with plot holes and implausibility. I’m no expert on military hardware, but I don’t think television is standard issue for a nuclear sub, and I really don’t think you can see reruns of Hannah Montana when you’re off the coast of Sri Lanka.

The absurdity of the show probably reaches its in peak during several scenes in which the Colorado crew speak to their families back home over the phone. We’re asked to believe that there is an all-consuming government conspiracy that can immediately detect when and where someone is talking to the Colorado but which lacks the ability to cut off these transmissions through any means save sending hired goons to literally, physically hang up the phones.

I’ll let Jean-Luc sum this up for me:

When words fail, there's always facepalmLast Resort isn’t totally without merit. I did quite enjoy the character of Captain Chaplin. He’s a unique mix of Bill Adama-esque fatherly leadership and Gaddafi-esque bat**** insanity.

I won’t spoil it, but there was a scene at the end with Creepy Guy that was very good. And it does have Bruce Davison in it, and that can’t be a bad thing.

Still, none of these are enough to save Last Resort, in my view. This will likely be my last post on it, as I have no plans to continue watching.

Overall rating: 3.7/10 Almost so bad that it’s good. Almost.

Cheating on WoW: Ah, Screw It + Blizzard News

Cheating on WoW: Ah, Screw It Edition:

We all know this is a boring time in WoW. Content that we once loved has become stale after a year or more of play. I’ve been sorely tempted to splurge on Guild Wars 2 or The Secret World to tide me over, but I decided it didn’t make sense to buy a game just to fill time for a week or two until Mists of Pandaria is released.

So anyway, meet my Norn thief:

My Norn thief in Guild Wars 2I have all the self-control of a dog in a kibble factory…

On the plus side, it’s not a subscription game, so I don’t need to worry about wasting money by juggling it and WoW.

It’s too early for me to add much to my thoughts on the game from beta, but I will say this much: I spent an hour on the character creation screen, designing her appearance, clothes, personality, and backstory. Not even Aion caused me to agonize that much. And now all my gold is going to buying dyes at the trading post.

Also, the Norn starting area is awesome. I particularly liked the events around the Wolf Shrine.

My Norn thief chilling in HoelbrakIn other news…

Did Blizzard just prank World of Warcraft players?

It’s already been hotfixed, but for a brief time a few days ago, death knights were able to cast their diseases on anyone — even friendly targets.

The result was a world-wide Azerothian pandemic the likes of which has not been seen since the Wrath of the Lich King launch event, or even the infamous corrupted blood incident.

The really odd thing about this is that it took place almost exactly seven years to the day after the corrupted blood pandemic — which, by the way, was the inspiration for the death knight blood plague ability.

A carpet of corpses caused by the death knight pandemic in World of WarcraftHmm…

I see what you did there, Blizzard.

I’m only sorry I missed it.

Heart of the Swarm beta update:

It’s not my intention to cover every patch and balance change in the Heart of the Swarm beta, but the last patch had some pretty massive changes, so I need to make a mention of it.

Firstly, one of the new Terran units, the warhound, has been removed. They’re not ruling out that it might return, but if it does, it will likely be in a heavily changed state.

The dearly departed warhound unit from the Starcraft 2: Heart of the Swarm betaThis decision isn’t hard to understand. The warhound was in that rare niche where it was both brokenly overpowered and extremely boring. It dominated everything on the ground, but it was essentially just a marauder on steroids. It brought nothing new or exciting to the table and required little if any micro to use effectively.

I fully agree with Blizzard’s reasoning in this case, and as a Protoss player, I can only smile as one of our worst nightmares meets its end. But at the same time, I will miss the whole “mech warrior” aesthetic of warhound armies, and poor Terran players are only getting two new units now — one of which is just a new form for an old unit.

As one unit falls, another rises. The best news by far to come out of this patch — indeed, the entire beta so far — is that the carrier has been reimplemented.

Rejoice, Protoss: carrier has arrived in Heart of Swarm.

This makes me giddy with happiness. As you know, I adore the carrier, and I’ve spent plenty of time raging over its removal.

We can hope this will lead to Blizzard finally trying to make the carrier a more viable unit — it has received an impressive total of zero patch changes since Starcraft II launched. But even if it doesn’t, I’m still happy. HotS is an expansion. It shouldn’t shrink your unit choices.