Review: The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey

Before I begin, I should take a moment to explain the significance of Tolkien’s work in my life.

Cover art for I am a fantasy author. That means Tolkien is to me what Jesus is to Christians.

My love of the fantasy genre can be traced to my early childhood, and two things in particular. The first is Warcraft: Orcs and Humans, and the second is “The Hobbit.” My teacher read it to my class in school, and afterward, I insisted my parents obtain copies of it and “The Lord of the Rings” and read them to me ad nauseam.

The first school play I ever performed in was a production of “The Hobbit.” I donned an absolutely ridiculous plush lizard suit and played the role of the dragon Smaug — to critical acclaim, I might add.

I was not often accepted by the other children in my early years, but one of the first games I was allowed to join was them playing out “Lord of the Rings.” I got to be Gimli.

John Rhys-Davies as Gimli in The Lord of the RingsMy father, who had been working with a local carpenter at the time, crafted me a battleaxe out of wood, and my mother used a wood-burning kit to put “Gimli, Son of Gloin” onto the axe in Norse runes. I still have the axe.

Around this time, I contracted chicken pox. What followed was a week of utmost misery as my entire body became covered by burning, itching sores. The only thing that kept me sane through this was my parents reading “The Hobbit” and “Lord of the Rings” to me until they were hoarse.

Years later, Peter Jackson came out with his films of the books. I still remember my exact words as I came out of The Fellowship of the Ring: “Best. Movie. Ever.” And I meant it.

And The Two Towers was even better.

The point I’m trying to make is this: few things, fictional or real, have had a greater impact on my life than the works of Tolkien. So as you read this review, keep in mind that I am in no way an impartial observer when it comes to Middle-Earth.

A map of Middle EarthOn with the show!

The elephant in the room:

Let’s start with the obvious. Yes, they’ve turned a fairly short book into three massive films, and yes, this is a blatant attempt to milk more money from the franchise.

But I view this the same way I view Blizzard Entertainment’s decision to release Starcraft II as a trilogy of games. As long as it leads to more content, and as long as the quality of the end product remains good, I don’t care that it’s a shameless cash grab.

The effort to stretch out the story is apparent when you view this movie. This is not a quick movie, and they have played fast and loose with the exact details of the story to pad it out.

But you know what? I don’t care.

Tolkien’s world is so deep and his stories so gripping that they can stand up to this treatment. Peter Jackson may be adding more to the story than was in the books, but he’s largely just expanding on elements that were only implied or explained in brief in the books. He’s not just pulling stuff out of his ass to make a fast buck.

The official poster for The Hobbit, An Unexpected JourneyWhatever liberty’s might be taken, this is still The Hobbit at a very fundamental level. The important things are all there. Simply put…

They got it right:

That might not sound like especially strong praise, but when it comes to the works of Tolkien — and when I’m the one saying it — that’s about as high praise as could possibly be uttered.

“The Hobbit” was a very different book from its trilogy of successors, and this movie captures that. This is a very light-hearted and whimsical movie, and it seems aimed at a younger audience than the Lord of the Rings films were. Which is exactly what it should be; Tolkien wrote this book for his children.

The casting, as with the previous films, is pitch-perfect. Sir Ian McKellen isn’t good as Gandalf; he is Gandalf. Martin Freeman is excellent as Bilbo — the right mix of awkwardness, charm, and wit. I’ve always been a little iffy on Andy Serkis’ portrayal of Gollum, but he does a lovely job in this film.

But who really steals the show in this movie is Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield. This man is brilliant. His portrayal of Thorin — equal parts noble heroism and frightening obsession — exactly matches how I pictured the character in the books, and every single of one of his scenes exudes gravitas.

I feel the beginnings of a mighty man-crush.

And, of course, the soundtrack, the visuals, and the action sequences are all as good as you could hope for.

That’s not to say the movie is perfect. The first half does feel a little lacking. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it boring — it does, in fact, have a lot of enjoyable moments — but it doesn’t have the same sparkle and shine as the previous films. It’s merely good, not great.

But then they got to the Goblin caves. Cue nerdgasms.

In closing:

To be honest, I’m not sure there’s a point in my posting this review. With a movie this big, I’m sure everyone has already made up their minds whether to see it or not, and pretty much everyone who will already has.

But whatever. It’s my blog. I’M YOUNG. I DO WHAT I WANT!

Anyway, to those who might still be on the fence about whether to see An Unexpected Journey (all two of you): do eet.

Overall rating: 9.1/10 SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, JACKSON!

This Is Embarassing

The Morning Light burnsSo… I got stuck in The Secret World. To begin the main story mission for Transylvania, you need to first complete a mission to infiltrate an Orochi compound, and said mission involves a difficult jumping puzzle.

I can’t do it. I can’t even get close.

To be fair, it may have something to do with the fact my computer lags so badly I can barely maneuver my character, let alone achieve any kind of precision.

I’m hoping to get a memory upgrade at some point, which might help, but in the meantime, I need something to do other than level my Templar alt.

So, yeah, I’ve slunk back to my dark master already. Here are my quick and dirty thoughts on coming back to World of Warcraft.

Templar uniform is best uniformI have to read quests?

I’m not going to lie: there are many aspects of WoW that feel positively archaic after playing Guild Wars 2 and The Secret World.

“WTF, I take damage from falling?”

“This inventory system is awful!”

“WTF, I can’t loot a mob because someone else hit it first?”

“Why does this game have so many buttons?”

In terms of difficulty, it’s complete night and day to go from TSW to WoW. At one point while leveling my paladin, I pulled about eight mobs at once by mistake, and I had a good ten seconds to casually peruse my bloated action bar because I forgot which button was divine shield.

And I haven’t had to translate ancient Roman ciphers or learn Morse code or anything.

My warlock doing the new daily quests in patch 5.1To be clear, I’m not knocking Blizzard, per se. Something would be seriously wrong if a game from the middle of last decade didn’t feel archaic compared to ones from last summer.

But still, it takes some adjustment.

Terrace of the Endless Spring:

This raid was released shortly after my sub ran out, so I never did it before now.

I’m pretty happy with Terrace, actually. Maybe could have used a cinematic or an RP event to cap it off, and the council fight at the beginning felt very generic, but all in all, a very fun and satisfying raid. The last three bosses were all quite interesting and enjoyable.

Also, my Sha-touched staff dropped on my first kill. So that’s nice.

New scenarios:

Dominance Point was a little long for my taste. One of the main appeals of scenarios is how quick they are, but this one just seemed to drag on.

My warlock swears a blood oath with Vol'jin in the Dagger in the Dark scenarioDagger in the Dark was a bit more interesting. Actually, by all rights, I should have loved it. It was lore-heavy, featured a character I’m very fond of, and began a plot arc I’ve been begging for since Cataclysm.

Unfortunately, Blizzard is really terrible at making plot twists that are actually surprises. Despite not reading any spoilers beforehand, I knew everything that was going to happen in Dagger in the Dark before I ever queued up for it. So that kind of sucked the fun out of it.

But I will say say this: any of you out there who didn’t swear the blood oath with Vol’jin? You are now my sworn enemies. I will end you.

I haven’t done Assault on Zan’vess or the Alliance ones yet.

New daily quests:

Day one: “Collect five crab meat.”

When words fail, there's always facepalmDay two: Okay, this isn’t so bad. Crabs aside, most of the quests are decent. They’re clearly designed to emulate the old strategy games, and I do appreciate the blatant attempt to pander to my nostalgia, although the timing of it feels a little odd.

It’s also nice that the quests are pretty quick to get through. This is nothing like the abominable grind that was Golden Lotus.

I think the most interesting thing is the cooperative mechanics they’ve introduced with the capture points, the wild beasts, and the bonuses you can buy with commendations. Reminds me a little bit of the spirit of cooperation that exists in Guild Wars 2.

I think the current implementation of the concept is a little underdeveloped, but hopefully we can see more ideas like this down the line.

Honestly, though, I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to get really excited about WoW-style quests again after having played TSW.

Day three: LOR’THEMAR’S NEW VOICE ACTOR PRONOUNCES “QUEL’THALAS” CORRECTLY.

Thank you, Grilled Cheesus!A return to stabbing (now with 35% more stabby):

I started leveling my paladin, but I decided I wasn’t quite ready to give up on my rogue, so I decided to actually use my subtlety spec for once.

As it turns out, sub isn’t so excruciatingly dull as combat has become. Energetic recovery and cheap builders mean I’m actually hitting buttons, and my mastery means those buttons actually do damage.

I thought maybe I had over-estimated the dullness of combat, or it was the new gear I got from the AH, so I switched back to combat for one mob just for comparison. It took me about three times longer to kill it, and most of that time was just picking my nose (metaphorically speaking) because I didn’t have enough energy to do anything.

Going sub is not a perfect solution. I don’t like using daggers, I miss killing spree, and sub has a lot of hoops you need to jump through just to do decent damage. Although I played a demo warlock in Cataclysm, so sub’s hoops are minor in comparison to that.

My rogue after switching to sub specBut it’s better than giving up on the character altogether. My characters are more than just avatars; I get attached to them. After four (ish) years of adventuring with Maigraith, I wasn’t ready to move on to someone new.

So let the warning go out to all enemies of the Alliance: Maigraith is back, and she misses her swords, so she’s pissed.

The rest of the gang:

Not too much else is new in regards to my characters. My warlock remains my main du jour. With the removal of grouping requirements to solo old raids, I’ve been giving dark apotheosis a workout.

So far, I’ve found most bosses from Wrath or earlier are complete pushovers. I didn’t even need to use defensive cooldowns on Marrowgar, and Attumen was like fighting a quest mob. Gunship appears to still be unsoloable due to mechanics, and while doable, Kael’thas is very, very annoying.

My mage remains an alchemy bitch, my monk remains the latest neglected alt, and my paladin looks like she might actually be the alt I intended her to be.

Finally, one feature of Guild Wars 2 I found really cool — if poorly implemented — was town clothes, so I’ve decided to bring the concept to WoW.

My paladin showing off her "town clothes" in StormwindNot bad for something I threw together in half an hour.

New article:

My latest article at WhatMMO is Eight Underused Class Archetypes. Main thing I learned from writing this one: I would like to play an alchemist.

Also, who do I have to stab to get an arcane archer?