Moving right along with my Once Upon a Time binge watch. This remains a very inconsistent show, but… I’m still watching.

“What Happened to Frederick:”

You recall how I said the “will they/won’t they” saga of David and Mary Margaret was equivalent to a story masturbating?

I think they’re risking friction burn at this point.

Not much else to say beyond that. I am finding myself rather confused by David’s character. In the fantasy world, he’s awesome, but in Storybrook, he’s such a slimy, spineless wimp I just want to shove him down a flight of stairs. I’m not sure whether to interpret this as effects of the curse, poor writing, or what, but David is nothing like Prince Charming, despite ostensibly being the same person.

Thankfully, this episode isn’t totally without its saving graces. Mainly, the fantasy storyline is pretty entertaining. It features Charming doing battle with a siren in order to save the true love of Abigail, his arranged fiance and his Storybrook wife. It shows Charming at his most selfless and heroic, a stark contrast to the scumbag he is in Storybrook.

Overall rating: 6.1/10

“Dreamy”:

Grumpy is one of my favourite characters on this show, so it gives me great pleasure to say the spotlight is on him in this episode.

In the fantasy realm, we discover that he wasn’t always Grumpy. He was once called Dreamy, and true to his name, he dreamed of a life beyond toil in the mines, a life spent with a fairy who had captured his heart. But this isn’t one of those fairytales with a happy ending.

On the Storybrook side, Mary Margaret tries to sell candles to support the local convent, but her reputation as a tramp is making everyone avoid her like the plague. A chance meeting with a nun — who was the fairy back in the land of magic — inspires Leroy/Grumpy to help Mary Margaret, despite his being the only other person in town as unpopular as her.

Meanwhile, Emma investigates the disappearance of David’s wife. There’s some suspicion around David himself, but I’d be shocked if all the evidence doesn’t turn out to have been fabricated by Regina. She’s probably behind the disappearance, too.

A large majority of what makes this episode so strong is just how awesome Grumpy/Leroy is. He’s this perfect blend of gruffness, gravitas, humour, and heartfelt emotion. He’s one of the most well-rounded characters of the series, and the actor does a fantastic job.

On the other hand, Nova/Astrid was a weak point. Her constant buffoonery and ditziness quickly stopped being endearing. It’s not easy for a woman that beautiful to be irritating, but she managed.

The events that drove Nova and Dreamy apart were a bit weak, too. I would have liked to have seen them come up with something better than the fairy godmother saying “You’re not right for each other” and Dreamy just giving up. I even buy the idea that a Dwarf and a Fairy just couldn’t work,* but it could have done with a bit more showing and a bit less telling.

*(What an odd thing to say.)

But Grumpy is awesome, and there’s a good emotional heft to the episode. I’ve got a soft spot for unrequited love stories, and this one was mostly well done, especially on the Storybrook side.

Overall rating: 7.9/10

“Red-Handed”:

Here’s a small milestone: This is the first episode I’d seen before. If memory serves, it was the first episode of Once Upon a Time I saw, and that’s probably a good thing, because it’s a very strong episode.

The focus this time is on Ruby, whose true identity is Red Riding Hood.

In the fantasy realm, she chafes under the over-protection of Granny as the town is terrorized by a terrible wolf. She longs to run away with her lover, Peter.

A chance meeting gains her a friend in Snow White — under the alias of Mary Margaret — and Red convinces her to help find and slay the wolf. They soon discover this is no ordinary wolf, but a shapeshifter, and all evidence points to Peter as the culprit. The ladies hatch a scheme to protect the townsfolk from Peter, and Peter from the townsfolk.

But their theory proves terribly, tragically wrong. Peter isn’t the wolf. Red is.

In Storybrook, Ruby is similarly restless, and she quits her job as a waitress at Granny’s Diner. She ends up working for Emma, and when David disappears in the forest, apparently losing touch with reality, Ruby proves instrumental in tracking him down, her enhanced senses as a werewolf having transferred to the real world.

Red is another character I’m very fond of, and it was nice to see her get her moment in the sun. She’s a character with more depth than it seems at first glance, and like many Once Upon a Time characters, she has a very pure heart.

Granny is awesome, too. Fiction has a lot of badass old men, but it’s not so often you find a badass old woman.

I’m also impressed by how dark this episode gets. Having Red kill and eat her beloved through a tragic misunderstanding is pretty damn shocking, especially for a show that’s usually so sugar sweet.

Similarly, the Storybrook side of things goes to some pretty dark places. A box with a human heart in it? A box covered in Mary Margaret’s fingerprints? That’s fairly shocking.

Now, I don’t doubt she’s innocent, but that’s a pretty good predicament to stick the characters in.

In a show that is often hit and miss, “Red-Handed” is most definitely a hit.

Overall rating: 8.5/10

“Heart of Darkness”:

Things aren’t looking very good for Mary Margaret. The evidence just keeps piling up to indicate that she murdered David’s wife. We as viewers know she must be innocent, but Emma and her other friends will have an uphill battle to prove it.

The only source of hope is Mr. Gold, who inexplicably offers to serve as her legal defense. But his aid is always a double-edged sword at best.

On the fantasy side of things, Snow goes on a brutal quest for vengeance against the queen, having forgotten Charming through Rumpelstiltskin’s magic.

The continued trials of Snow and Charming is starting to feel a bit repetitive — I wish they’d just get together already — but at least it’s still a lot more interesting than their Storybrook plot. This version has magic and swords, after all.

This was overall an interesting episode, with good tension and some decent emotional beats, but it didn’t really do much to advance the story. Mary Margaret was in trouble before; now she’s just in slightly more trouble. Feels like just set-up for the future.

Overall rating: 7.5/10

“Hat Trick”:

Here we have an odd little tangent of an episode.

While pursuing the escaped Mary Margaret, Emma is kidnapped by a deranged fellow named Jefferson. He turns out to be one of the few people in Storybrook who remembers their past self. He was the Mad Hatter, though his story is a bit different in this version of things. He was a devoted father driven mad by being separated from his daughter.

His existence in Storybrook keeps him forever apart from his beloved daughter, and he is desperate to find an escape. He believes Emma can open the way for him, what with the whole “Chosen One” thing and all.

Jefferson himself was entertaining enough, and it was a decent twist on the traditional Mad Hatter story. But it was an episode focused almost entirely on Emma, and that’s never a good thing.

At this point, Emma’s utter rejection of Storybrook’s true nature is just making her come across as exceedingly dense. I get it’s outlandish and all, but the evidence just keeps piling on.

The ending seems to hint she’s finally getting suspicious, but we’ll see. I’ve been disappointed before.

Foolishness may also run in the family, as I don’t understand what Mary Margaret hoped to accomplish by breaking out of jail. I understand no one wants to be tried for murder, but what was running aimlessly through the woods with no help and no plan going to do, exactly?

Overall rating: 6/10

I continue with my binge watch of Once Upon a Time. As usual, expect some spoilers.

“The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter”:

The last few episodes have been mostly about fleshing out the backstories of various cast members, and while that’s valuable, it was getting a bit repetitive.

Now, things are moving.

The focus this time is on Graham, the sheriff, who I had largely ignored up until now. An encounter with Emma grants him shocking visions of another world and another life: His life before Storybrook.

Feverish and panicked, Graham goes all across town and through the woods in a search of answers. With the help of Mary Margaret and Henry, he’s able to put the pieces together.

He was the huntsman sent to kill Snow White. The huntsman who failed, and who was punished severely by the queen. And as his memories return, his rebellion against Regina will earn him a harsher fate still.

This episode seems to mark a turning point. This is the first time the true nature of Storybrook has manifested as more than Henry’s outlandish claims and a series of strange coincidences. If Emma and Mary don’t start suspecting something is up now, I’ll be both surprised and disappointed.

This is also the first time Regina has made good on one of her ominous but vague threats, which is very welcome because she was starting to feel a bit toothless.

Best laugh of the series to date: Mr. Gold — inexplicably in the middle of the forest wearing a leather apron and carrying a shovel — saying he hasn’t seen anything unusual.

Overall rating: 8.1/10

“Desperate Souls”:

This is another “origin story” episode. Rumpelstiltskin, this time.

Back in the land of magic, Rumpelstiltskin — a wretched coward loathed by all — is desperate to prevent his son from being conscripted into the army of a corrupt duke. His only hope is to steal the powers of a terrible dark wizard and claim them for his own.

In Storybrook, an election is held to find a replacement for Graham, and Emma faces off against one of Regina’s puppets. Mr. Gold cuts a deal with her to help her win… by any means necessary.

This is on the whole an unremarkable episode. It’s quite predictable and feels mostly like filler — of course Emma is going to win the election.

It’s also rather disappointing that Emma still doesn’t seem to put any weight into Henry’s ideas even after everything that happened with Graham. I realize it’s far-fetched, but she ought to realize something weird is going on by now.

I am reminded that in my earlier experiences with this show, I thought Emma came across as rather dense. I remember why I felt that way.

However, Robert Carlyle makes it worthwhile. He just oozes sleaziness, and he’s got creepy down to a fine art. This is probably the most attention he’s gotten so far, and that saves an otherwise bland episode.

Overall rating: 7.2/10

“True North”:

Since when do police cars have window controls in the backseat?

That one little bit of silliness aside, “True North” was a solid episode, though I doubt an important one in the greater scheme of things.

This time, it’s the story of Hansel and Gretel. And it doesn’t really differ that much from the traditional story, aside from a little involvement by Regina.

The Storybrook side of things is a bit more interesting, with the kids as orphans about to be shipped off to foster homes.

Once Upon a Time often treads a fine line between being touching and cloying, but for the most part, this episode stays on the good side of that line. Even Emma manages to put on a decent performance for once.

The only knock against this episode is that it feels very much like filler, doing nothing to advance the main storyline.

Overall rating: 7.4/10

“7:15AM”:

This episode is a great example of why I usually hate romance stories.

We all know Snow White and Prince Charming are going to be together, in both worlds. That’s blindingly obvious. Yet this episode spends nearly all its time trying desperately to convince us that’s somehow in doubt.

Hint: It isn’t.

It’s a waste of time, plain and simple. There’s no drama, because the outcome isn’t remotely in question. This is a story masturbating.

The only saving grace of this episode is that Grumpy is pretty awesome.

Overall rating: 4/10

“Fruit of the Poisonous Tree”:

It’s time for another origin story. This one is for Sidney, who was Regina’s mirror (“Mirror, mirror, on the wall…”) in the fantasy world. He was originally a Genii who was freed by Regina’s then-husband, but as is always the case when magical wish-granting is involved, things get ugly before too long.

In Storybrook, Emma and a seemingly embittered Sidney go to extreme lengths to discredit Regina.

Mostly, I enjoyed this episode. It was nice to see Sidney get some development, and once again the weaving of different stories and the real world was very clever, particularly the concept of how wishes always go wrong.

It didn’t really advance the story in any meaningful way, though, and the revelation that Sidney is just a sleazy bootlick after all rather invalidated his character development from earlier in the episode.

Overall rating: 7.1/10

“Skin Deep”:

Rumpelstiltskin is easily the best part of this show.

I’m not just saying that because Robert Carlyle is an amazing actor — although he is. Emma aside, there’s a lot of good acting on this show, but he blows everyone else out of the water.

But there’s more than that. Rumpelstiltskin, more than anyone else, embodies the soul of Once Upon a Time’s source material. And I don’t mean old Disney movies.

Rumpelstiltskin harkens back to the old days of fairytales, where all magic came at a terrible cost, where dark things stalked the night, and where happy endings were a rarity. He is a chillingly stark yet refreshing contrast to the at-times cloying sweetness of the rest of the show, and this episode is a great example of that.

“Skin Deep,” as you might have guessed, focuses on Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold. It’s a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, with him playing the role of Beast. But this isn’t the story we’re familiar with. There’s no “happily ever after” here. A little interference from Regina coupled with Rumpelstiltskin’s own demons soon shatters his relationship with Belle, and things spiral out of control from there.

This episode goes to some seriously dark places by Once Upon a Time standards, and that brutality contrasts brilliantly with the tenderness of Rumpelstiltskin and Belle’s budding love. It all makes for what is easily the most shocking and powerful episode of the series to date.

On the downside, the parts of “Skin Deep” that didn’t involve Robert Carlyle were quite lame: David and Mary Margaret’s continued time wastery, and a random appearance by Cinderella for some reason. Thankfully, those bits are mercifully brief.

Overall rating: 8.8/10