Age of Mythology: Heavenly Spear and More Grumping

Age of Mythology: Retold has already announced their next expansion, Heavenly Spear. It adds the Japanese civilization, and it’s once again time for me to be disappointed by Retold.

The key art for Age of Mythology: Retold's upcoming Heavenly Spear expansion.I don’t hate it or anything, but going for another east Asian civilization immediately after the Chinese feels a bit tiresome. While I understand that Chinese and Japanese culture are very different, and especially their mythologies are wildly distinct, there is still a lot of overlap in terms of things like architecture, art design, and map biomes.

It also ties into my growing frustration with the Age franchise’s current hyper-fixation with Europe and Asia. I periodically see unsavoury members of the community say that we can’t have more content from Africa or the Americas because the people there have always been nothing but savages with no culture or achievements to worth mentioning, and it’s getting harder not to feel like the developers are tacitly agreeing with that on some level.

The other problem is that this is probably the last DLC they’ll make. Given the poor player counts on Steam and the game’s other stumbles, it’s hard to see it having much of a future once they’ve met their obligation to premium edition buyers, who were always promised two DLCs. If this is to be the end, I’d rather have seen something with no thematic overlap with any existing civilizations.

The community is also continuing to add to my frustration. The toxic positivity brigade is already out in full force on social media to shout down even the mildest criticism of Heavenly Spear.

I don’t like this attitude that we can’t ever criticism the game because we’re lucky it’s still getting support at all. The same arguments came out during AoE2’s recent Three Kingdoms controversy, but at least it’s much less prevalent in AoE2’s community, which seems more mature generally.

A promotional screenshot for Age of Mythology: Retold's upcoming Heavenly Spear expansion.Personally I would rather no content than bad content. Not that I think Heavenly Spear is bad, but I don’t think its very existence should place it above criticism, either. I don’t think that’s healthy for a game, and I’m sure the developers would agree. As a sometimes developer myself, I wouldn’t want my players to hold back on legitimate critiques; I want the opportunity to grow.

There are a few things about Heavenly Spear that seem promising, but each comes with a caveat. The campaign focusing on an ordinary farmer’s daughter sounds like a great hook for a classical heroic journey… but Immortal Pillars’ story was so bad it’s hard to have hope for this one.

That the campaign is longer than Immortal Pillars’ is welcome and could be a sign the game’s development is winding up rather than winding down… but the fact they haven’t done any god packs since Freyr reinforces the idea that they’re just meeting their obligation to premium buyers before dropping the game.

There’s talk of improving Arena of the Gods… but its current state is so poor it’s hard to see them ever getting to anything approaching a good state.

That said, Japanese mythology is very rich, and we’ve already seen what look like some incredibly cool myth units. I’m sure this DLC will add a lot of positive things to game, even if it’s not what I would have chosen.

It’s not that adding the Japanese to the game is a bad idea. It’s just the timing that’s wrong. If they did Mayans or Sumerians (or ideally both) and then Japanese, I’d be celebrating.

Age of Mythology: Retold Continues to Disappoint

I’ve had a lot of criticism for Age of Mythology: Retold so far, especially around lack of content, so a lot was riding on the recent Immortal Pillars DLC, which reintroduces the Chinese. Completely redone from their first incarnation in Tale of the Dragon with a new campaign to boot, this is all entirely new content.

Nuwa and Houtu bestow their blessings on a settlement in Age of Mythology: Retold's Immortal Pillars DLC.The campaign is a bit mediocre. It’s fairly short at nine missions, and three of those are “dungeon crawl” style missions with little to no economy, which never works very well in this style of RTS.

As with the rest of Retold to date, the voice acting is pretty dire, and the writing isn’t very good, either. The villain has a pretty sympathetic motivation, but then they have him randomly murdering innocent people wherever he goes for no reason whatsoever.

The mission design is a bit of a mixed bag, too. The early missions feel pretty basic, and while the later ones are a lot more enjoyable, I still find myself thinking that more mechanical creativity should be possible given the near limitless possibilities offered by the mythological source material. StarCraft II really raised the bar for RTS mission design, and no one else has even come close to equaling it.

The Chinese civilization itself, though, is excellent. The art design of everything from buildings to god portraits is simply gorgeous, and their mechanics hit the right balance of feeling fresh without making you feel like you need to fully relearn the game.

Selecting minor gods as the Chinese in Age of Mythology: Retold's Immortal Pillars DLC.The Chinese have a very strong emphasis on defensive play and turtle strategies, which have always been my preference in RTS games, so they fit me like a glove. Despite my love of Norse mythology, the Chinese may be my new favourite civilization in this game, and I ended up having a pretty good time with the campaign despite its other shortcomings purely on the strength of the Chinese civilization.

Overall, the DLC has rough edges, but it still offers a lot of fun.

So why is that headline above so negative? Because I literally can’t play it.

Things were fine for the first half of the campaign, but then the game started experiencing random crashes to desktop. A lot of random crashes.

There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to when a crash occurs. Sometimes I can go almost twenty minutes without one, sometimes they happen every thirty seconds. I’ve found they also happen in skirmishes as well as the campaign. I tried updating my graphics drivers and reinstalling the game, and neither helped.

A campaign cutscene from the Immortal Pillars DLC for Age of Mythology: Retold.I tried brute-forcing my way through with constant quick saves, but after a while it just got too frustrating needing to restart the game every minute or two. I’m about halfway through the second last campaign mission, and I’ve thrown in the towel. The game is unplayable while this persists.

I tried looking online, but reports of similar issues are few and far between, and no one seems to have found a solution. Given the apparent rarity of the issue, I’m not hopeful for a fix any time soon.

Between this, the abysmal voice acting, the maybe AI beta god portraits debacle, and the incredibly poor state of Arena of the Gods, I’m just stunned by the lack of quality control in AoM: Retold. The Age of X franchise is usually one you can depend on for consistent quality. I don’t know what went so wrong this time.

It’s so frustrating because Immortal Pillars did seem like it was a step in the right direction, right up until the crashes started.