Review: The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III

I’m a big fan of the band Chvrches. Their second album is coming out in September, and from what I’ve seen so far, it sounds like it’ll be very much like the first album.

A loading screen in The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing IIINormally I like it when bands evolve their sound, but I liked the first album so much that I’d be perfectly happy if Every Open Eye turns out to be The Bones of What You Believe II: Bone Harder.

Why am I rambling about my terrible taste in music in a video game review?

Because sometimes more of the same isn’t a bad thing.

And that brings us to the conclusion of the Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing trilogy. It’s pretty much like the past games. It’s funny, it’s overflowing with Easter eggs, and it offers endless slaughter of a dizzying variety of bizarre monsters.

In fact, you could probably go back and read my reviews of the first two and it would tell you nearly everything you need to know about this game. It’s mostly just a continuation — more content based around a new story, but the same mechanics.

Events have come full circle in the grim land of Borgovia. With Professor Fulmigati and General Harker dead, the grip of mad science has been broken. But now the treacherous being known as Prisoner Seven has retreated into the depths of the Ink with plans of rewriting the world to restore old Borgovia, a land ruled by vampire kings and the creatures of the night.

Islands in the Ink in The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing IIIOf course, it falls to Van Helsing, Katarina, and the Borgovian Resistance to stop him. This time, Count Vlados is back to assist, which gives me a surprising amount of joy. There’s also a pretty meaty side-plot that at last unearths the dark history of Lady Katarina, including her death and the “Pony Incident.”

But there are a few things different in Van Helsing III other than a new story, and unfortunately, most of them are bad.

The most obvious change is that you can no longer import old characters. This is because Van Helsing III introduces a totally new class system. The original classes have been replaced with six new ones, vaguely corresponding to more specialized versions of the old classes.

It’s an odd choice for the end of a trilogy. After being able to seamlessly transition from the first game to Van Helsing II with the same character, same skills, same gear, and everything, I’m now asked to start over. Sort of breaks the continuity, and I didn’t like being a penniless lowbie for the final lap.

The new classes are also massively simplified compared to the old ones. Instead of having multiple possible builds, you pretty much get enough skills to fill your action bar, and that’s it.

Fighting the undead in The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing IIIIronically, since Lady Katarina keeps her original skill tree, she now has vastly more customization potential than the player character.

On the plus side, the classes do seem pretty fun. Admittedly, I only tried constructor, but I enjoyed it a lot. Took the best parts of the arcane mechanic class and got rid of all the fiddly, annoying parts.

Plus there’s just a simple joy to wading into hordes of vampires with a minigun and a squad of dismemberbots.

Van Helsing III is also a very short game — about eight to twelve hours, depending on how thorough you want to be. This is roughly analogous to the first game but significantly shorter than the meatier second game.

All of the new systems from the second game, like resistance management, return, though Fluffy the Chimera can no longer assist you in combat, making it little more than another variation of the resistance missions.

The Clockwork Keep in The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing IIII was also a bit underwhelmed by how few tower defense quests there were this time, and their rewards seemed virtually nonexistent. Maybe they want to steer people to their new Deathtrap spinoff? I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem to make sense to shove one of the franchise’s most unique features off to the side like this.

Still, all the things that made me initially love the Van Helsing games are intact. The banter between Van Helsing and Katarina is still endlessly amusing. There are still enough secrets to make a completionist lose their minds. The graphics are still pretty, the music is still amazing, and the action is still satisfying.

And Count Vlados is back!

Overall rating: 7.5/10 Despite some stumbles, it’s a worthy end to the trilogy.

Reviews: Defiance, “My Name Is Datak Tarr and I Have Come to Kill You” + Dark Matter, Episode Seven

Defiance, “My Name Is Datak Tarr and I Have Come to Kill You”:

A promotional image for DefianceThat’s easily the best episode title of the series to date, and really the only reason I’m not declaring it the best episode title in TV history is because Trailer Park Boys exist.

And for the most part, this episode does live up to the awesomeness of its title.

“My Name Is Datak Tarr and I Have Come to Kill You” sees the people of Defiance at their lowest end, and this season continuing make bleakness and tragedy the order of the day.

Rahm Tak’s men have succeeded in infiltrating Defiance, and they proceed to go on an indiscriminate killing spree. But as terrible as this is, it is but a cover to insert Rahm’s Indogene shapetaker, who plans to cripple Defiance’s defenses from the inside.

This is another moment where I was beginning to feel this season was laying the tragedy on a bit thick, but then things take a very interesting turn as Doc Yewll concocts a last ditch effort plan to save the town.

It’s a suicide mission, but Defiance just so happens to have someone whose life is already forfeit, and who is desperate to redeem themselves.

Datak Tarr (Tony Curran) in DefianceDatak Tarr.

What follows is the greatest proof yet that Datak is the wiliest, toughest, and craziest son of a bitch you will ever see.

I don’t want to spoil the ending of this episode, but it will blow your mind, and it may just be Defiance’s greatest moment to date.

Something else I enjoyed about this arc is that it gives us our first glimpses (via flashbacks) of the Votanis System, which are spectacular if all too brief.

Even Yuke homes seem surprisingly opulent. I may have to slightly adjust my head canon for my character in the game, who is Yuke.

The one damper on this episode is the continued story surrounding Stahma and the Omec. It’s not even bad, really; it just doesn’t match up the rest of the episode, and the Omec still feel a little random and out of place.

The Omec in Defiance The commander’s change of heart seems out of tune with what’s been established about the Omec so far, and I’m not thrilled by the implication that the Omec will be the focus of the rest of the season.

Still. That ending, though.

Overall rating: 8.7/10

Dark Matter, Episode Seven:

As I predicted, Five has realized she knows the code to access the Raza‘s vault. In addition to a wealth of guns and money, they find two individuals in cold storage.

The logo for Dark Matter The first is a terminally ill woman who is part of Three’s past, and the second is another android, an entertainment model with an actual name: Wendy.

So the episode is split between arcs following both of these new characters, and unfortunately, both fail to impress.

This episode serves as the “he’s really not so bad” arc for Three, but in his case, it just doesn’t ring true, despite a strong performance from the actor. The tender, caring man seen in this episode bears no resemblance to the ruthless bastard Three has been throughout the entire series to date.

It’s not even that I don’t believe he could care about someone, but the image of him as a selfless romantic just doesn’t fit.

Meanwhile, Wendy’s arc was mostly a giant monument to every fembot cliche ever. It’s a bit disappointing from a show that has for the most treated its women quite respectfully up until now, and perhaps more importantly, it’s just not that interesting.

The cast of Dark MatterSally’s jealousy of the new android was kind of weird, too. I did like her scene with Five, but I also feel like this was perhaps a missed opportunity to flesh out Sally some more or make her a more meaningful member of the crew, as opposed to simply a source of comedy relief and technobabble. I was kind of expecting her to cannibalize some parts of Wendy’s programming to make her better able to interact with the crew.

Maybe that will come later? Anything’s possible, I guess.

The other major issue with episode seven is that it’s pretty much just filler. Neither new character is likely to play a role going forward, and the main plot has not been advanced in any major way.

Oh, and One and Two’s kind of sort of maybe romance continues. Not fun.

Overall rating: 5.8/10 Probably the weakest episode of the series to date.