As mentioned previously, I’ve had my eye on the Autumn’s Gate house in Elder Scrolls Online, and I’ve now taken the next step by purchasing it and moving in.

I’m far enough into the game that I don’t feel too bad about spending so much gold, but it’s definitely been an underwhelming experience.

Turns out furnishing your home is not as easy as I initially thought. Most in-game vendors only sell miscellaneous items like trees, rocks, random trophies, and the like. Basic housing stuff like beds and chairs are surprisingly hard to find.

Furniture crafting, meanwhile, straight up doesn’t make any sense.

Although each furniture recipe is tied to a specific profession, many of them still require skills in other professions, with no apparent rhyme or reason behind any of it. I have a bed recipe for my woodworking I can’t actually make because I don’t have skills in provisioning. Most of my blacksmithing recipes require skills and materials from enchanting. Let’s not forget the infamous Nickel Pie.

It seems the only way to make significant headway as a furniture crafter is to have maxed out every single tradeskill in the game on a single character, a task so Herculean I’m getting a headache just thinking about it. I nearly went mad just trying to train up three crafts on one character.

The drop rates for furniture materials aren’t exactly great, either, since we’re on the subject.

The best way to furnish your home is probably to just buy the essential items from the cash shops. The good news is that most of the furnishing prices are pretty reasonable (with some notable exceptions). But it’s not exactly great to have the best answer to a game problem be “cash shop.”

I suppose buying what you want off guild traders could also be an option — I haven’t looked into it, so I’m not sure what the prices are like. This does mean enduring the general awfulness of guild traders as a system, though.

It also turns out that the limit on how many furnishings you can have in a house is pretty shockingly low if you’re not a subscriber, so that doesn’t help matters. The interface for placing items is a long way from intuitive, too.

All that said, I’m still reasonably happy with how my house turned out. It’s a bit Spartan, but charming all the same.

With my options so limited, I decided to get creative. I used trees and shrubs to give the illusion that the house itself was alive, grown together from the local flora. Basically I took a Nord home and turned it into a Bosmer home.

Also, I love the yard, even if it’s tiny. The Rift is an absolutely gorgeous zone.

The real problem, in the end, is that after one day I’ve already run out of things to do with my home. There’s no gameplay associated with it, no reason to go there other than to see the sights, no practical benefit to it whatsoever. What few utilities you can add to homes in ESO require massive grind or a significant chunk of cash to unlock.

Times like this further my belief that I just don’t get player housing as a feature. ESO’s housing seems mostly well-received by the community so far. Meanwhile, SW:TOR’s housing is generally held as one of the worst implementations of the concept around, yet I would take SW:TOR’s system over ESO’s any day of the week and twice on Sunday.