Review: Battle Los Angeles

So, I just rented this supposed Blockbuster. And it’s kinda late, so forgive me if my reviewing is a little sloppy–though there is a certain appropriateness to that, considering the caliber of film this was.

I could make this a long review, but I don’t want to waste my time–or yours. Simply put, this movie was a sloppy mess.

It was dumb from the get go, showing us scenes to establish each of the characters that were all horrifically cliched and straight out of every other military-focused and/or alien invasion movie you’ve ever seen. It then hit the gas pedal on its drive to Stupidville by showing the aliens emerging on the beaches of Santa Monica and into crowds of curious civilians–despite the fact that evacuations have supposedly been taking place for hours. The aliens are not greeted by any military forces despite a massive military response that has been supposedly mobilizing, again, seemingly for some time.

I’m generally a fan of the “shaky cam” style of cinematography, but the camera jerks and cuts around so much in this movie that even I, a man raised on a diet of Starcraft and Call of Duty, could not hope to keep up. Simply put, it’s a baffingly headache to watch.

Battle Los Angeles is not completely without merit. The climactic final battle is as pulse-pounding and exhilarating as one would expect from a big budget action movie such as this, and on the rare occasions the camera stopped jerking around like it was held by someone in the midst of an epileptic fit, the viewer is treated to some rather spectacular and haunting panoramas of the city in flames. But these brief highlights do not counteract the stupidity and utter feeling of “been there, done that” that pervades the movie.

Overall rating: 4/10. I’m not putting this on my Amazon affiliate. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.

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